Home
on the Range
BY
NAOMI GOLLOGLY
WHAT FEET FANCY
There's nothing like a useful present to restore your
faith in the whole idea of the giving-and-receiving season,
and most outdoorsy sorts always need new socks anyway. Long
the foot cover of choice for the Great Outdoors,
Thorlo
socks ($8.75-$15.95, U.S. Outdoor Store, usoutdoor.com,
219 SW Broadway, 223-5937; Oregon Mountain Community, 60
NW Davis St., 227-1038; among others) are one of those can't-go-wrong-even-if-the-wrapping-paper-is-hideous
kind of gifts. Made with Thorlon acrylic yarns, these socks--or
at least the marketing machines behind them--claim to facilitate
better posture, balance temperature, keep feet drier, increase
circulation and decrease plantar pressure. I don't know
if all this is true, but they sure score top points on the
cozy and comfy scale for a whole range of activities, including
putting your feet up after a long day of weathering storms,
whether elemental or technological.
JUMPING FOR JAVA
Since everyone knows that outdoors fanatics plus early
mornings equal java addicts for life, there's no way you
could go wrong with a gift such as The
Longitude Bistro ($25.95, Oregon Mountain Community,
60 NW Davis St., 227-1038). This unbreakable coffee press
provides both the procurement method and the receptacle
in which to obtain and savor that slope-side cup of joe.
To complete the deal, toss in a pound of Torrefazione,
and you've just created several cups of heaven for some
lucky person.
JUST DOO IT
For someone who views the garden as their personal
parcel of the Great Outdoors or, as the marketing slogan
goes, for someone who actually "gives a dung," consider
the gift of a Dung
Buddy ($14, Northwest Garden and Topiary, 805
NW 23rd Ave., 222-9939; 1-800-I-LUV-DOO). Made from the
heat-treated wastes of zoo animals and clay, these clean,
odorless figurines are for planting in the garden to fertilize
the resident plants. Dung buddies, which will do their
stuff in the garden for up to two years, come as squirrels,
rabbits, elephants, chickens, lions and ladybugs. The
shorter-lived Animal Crappers ($7.50) will last in potted
plants for a year and arrive in an animal cracker-style
box as rhinos, camels, elephants and giraffes. The relentless
puns on the packaging are perhaps the best part of this
gift, which is pitched as "the only friend you can treat
like dirt."
EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK?
For the camper, hiker, paddler, backpacker or just
general outdoor adventurer, here's a one-gift-suits-all
solution: the Kitchen Sink ($23, Salamander, (541)
388-1821; salamanderpaddlegear.com
for a catalog). This teal-colored cloth basin holds up
to 1.25 gallons of water or other liquids without leaking
and folds flat to an almost unnoticeable thinness--perfect
for an already crammed car, kayak or pack. Call it the
super bowl of the outdoors, handy as a wash basin, camp
sink, serving dish for ramen, berry-picking container,
you name it. Indestructible and lightweight (a mere 4
ounces), this particular Kitchen Sink is made of long-lasting
polyester with a leakproof ripstop nylon liner. As an
added bonus in terms of allaying that holiday season greed-guilt
thing, Salamander, based in Bend, donates 3 percent of
pretax revenues to environmental causes and the sponsorship
of outdoor athletes.
FETCHING
All Rover really wants for Christmas, or anytime for
that matter, is endless attention. So send him into doggie
ecstasy with the promise of a leisurely game of disc in
the park with the World's Best Dang Fabric Flying Disc.
Ruff
Wear's HoverCraft ($11.95-$15.90, Alder Creek
Kayak Supply, 250 NE Tomahawk Island Drive, 285-0464;
Man's Best Friend, 3445 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 230-0237)
is a durable fabric disc that holds up to the abuse of
tug-o'-war with sharp canine teeth. Made of sturdy nylon
webbing and Diamond Plate P.E.V. materials, the soft construction
goes over easy on sensitive canine gums and teeth, while
flying farther, floating better, lasting longer and being
easier to throw and catch than its stiff plastic counterparts.
The toy comes in a large 9-inch size and a small Cabin
Fever version, Ruff Wear, a Bend-based company, also makes
other products for dogs on the go, including first-aid
kits, doggie backpacks and endurance bars, as well as
the original collapsible food and water bowls.
CANINE CADDY
Finally, a gift for those law-breaking loved ones
who refuse to pick up after their pooches' poo for fear
of being seen carrying a bag of dog doo. The Stylie
Dog Leash Pack
($13-$21, Three Dog Bakery, 517 NW 23rd Ave., 228-7800)
slips onto a dog's leash and spares the accompanying human
the embarrassment of having to wear a fanny pack or mixing
dog-related items with human items in a backpack. Made
of recreational nylon, the pack comes in a basic or deluxe
model (which includes a free folding water or food bowl)
in small or large. Include a selection of the Pet-it Fours,
Beagle Bagels, Snicker Poodles or Pup Tarts from the pastry
display case.
DRY SKIN BE DAMNED!
Featuring a woman in a short,
tight skirt jacking up a car on the front of the tube,
Heavy Duty Hand Cream ($15, Girlfriends, 904 NW
23rd Ave., 294-0488) makes no bones about its target market.
"For hands that do more than just wave," this is a non-greasy,
super-hydrating, rich cream with a pleasant lemony scent.
Although it may seem spendy for a 3.5-ounce tube, those
who spend a lot of time out in the elements know the challenge
of finding a decent hand salve that doesn't stink or leave
your digits as greasy as a jumbo-sized barrel of movie
popcorn.
LOVE HANDLES
Do you have loved ones who continually
punish themselves with ridiculous feats like scaling mountains,
cycling centuries, rollerblading in traffic or taking
on any of a number of sports that defy the very nature
of the human muscular system? Apart from a new brain,
possibly the best thing you can give them is a one-on-one
full-body massage ($0.00, by you, in your home, at
any hour). While a large variety of massage professionals
sell such services around town, I have never been sufficiently
impressed by any in particular to the point of providing
a glowing recommendation. Besides, why pay money for what
is ultimately best rendered by a lover's hands? (Plus
you alleviate that discomfiting feeling of being naked
with a stranger.) Draw up a gift certificate--lipstick
is a nice tool for such art--and buy some oils from Nature's
or Escentials, and relieving sore muscles suddenly becomes
sensual.
NO DIRECTION HOME
The next-best thing to give after
a functional gift is a recycled gift. And no, I don't
mean that butt-ugly sweater hand-knit by Auntie Bertha
especially for you that you wouldn't wear even if she
were on her death bed begging you to as her dying wish.
Try instead a License Plate Birdhouse ($15, Yardbirds,
2200 NE Broadway, 288-9985). Made from old Oregon or--gasp!--California
license plates, these birdhouses have a little more panache
than your average garden-variety models.
