Oh, the excruciating foreplay we go through to get to
the climax that is the weather report.
You know what we mean. Every night it's the same game:
"Coming up, the weekly forecast."
"Stay tuned to find out if you should take your umbrella
tomorrow."
"After this, we'll have the update on the snowstorm
headed our way."
So we sit through the happy talk, the pointless footage
of an explosion in Podunk, Neb., the cute kids in the pumpkin
patch, and the interminable commercial breaks.
"Please," we moan at Matt Zaffino. "Just give it to us.
Just tell us if it's going to rain tomorrow."
Of course, there's a reason they make us wait until
the end of the newscast every night. Weather drives the
local news. According to Kerry Oslund, news director at
KOIN, it's a prime reason viewers tune in and the main reason
they stay.
Not surprisingly, then, stations compete fiercely
to give good weather. A studio weather center is akin to
a space station--all hardware, blinking lights and high-tech
geegaws.
Probably the most heavily promoted piece of equipment
in town is KGW's Live Doppler 8000. It's a radar that shows
instant weather, as opposed to the slightly delayed yet
equally incomprehensible images the National Weather Service
feeds to the other two local stations.
Zaffino is proud of his Doppler. "It's the smart bomb
in the weather wars," he says. "We're the only station who
has one and we can point it anywhere we want to."
Mark Nelson, the self-styled "weather geek" at KOIN,
says that as much as he thinks the Doppler is unnecessary
in the temperate Northwest, he does admit to some radar
envy. "I would love to have my own radar," he says. "It
sure can't hurt."
Instead of getting a radar, though, KOIN is changing
locations. Next February the weather center will leave the
newsroom and move to the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry.
Oslund says the reason for the move is obvious: "Who
is more connected with science than OMSI?"
With the shift, KOIN will also update its hardware.
"Our hope is to scare the pants off everyone with our new
graphics," Oslund says.
Fancy toys are exciting, but, like everything else
on television, weather reporting is personality-driven.
We all have our preferences in weathermen. (And locally,
they are almost all men.)
Some viewers are comforted by the delivery of KGW's
Joe Sotille, who makes it seem as if the most violent storms
are April showers. Some may prefer his partner, Zaffino,
who seems like a fun person to go skiing with, or the youthfully
exuberant Nelson. Still others like to rate their day on
a scale of 1-10 with the assistance of our own version of
Willard Scott, KATU's Jim Bosley. And there are those who
like to end their nights with the suburban good looks of
Rob Marciano, also at KATU.
No matter which Prince Charming of the weather set
we prefer, ultimately, they're all the same: taunting, teasing
maestro meteorologists who just won't give it up until they're
damn good and ready.
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Willamette Week | originally
published November 3,
1999
|
