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But over the past few years, I haven't been able to ignore the fact that snowboarders are taking over. Resorts that once discouraged--or even banned--boarders now encourage them. The number of boarders has expanded dramatically and now includes many people for whom Kerig's 10th Commandment of Snowboarders--"Thou shalt not bathe during winter"--is not part of the golden rules. It's even been accepted by the Olympics, though I guess that isn't saying much. When was the last time you saw someone lugeing outside an Olympic Park? I'm predisposed against a sport that comes with a vocabulary (according to the Total Guide: "jibber: a freestyle rider; grommet: a young snowboarder; huck: to jump recklessly"), but one big thing snowboarding does have going for it is a lack of equipment. There are boots (and these are way, way more comfortable than ski boots) and the board. When you fall, which you do about every 10 feet, your legs stay neatly placed on the board (unless you've really gotten some "hospital air") and there are no poles to fly down the mountain or impale either you or passersby. Except for getting a faceful or pantsful of snow, the hardest part of the falling is pushing yourself back up. Because once you're up, you go. Standing still is almost impossible. But it took me a while to figure that out. First I had to survive the drive up the mountain. I will never understand why there isn't some sort of organized protest against the highway patrol for the inadequate job that's done plowing, sanding, de-icing, etc., Highway 26. I know there are environmental restrictions on what kind of treatments they can use, which explains why there's no salt, but in the two and one-half hours it took to get to Mount Hood Meadows Saturday morning, I saw just one plow. And it didn't seem to be having the slightest impact on the snow and ice-packed road. The good thing was that having survived the drive, I felt safer about strapping my feet into a board--though it turned out that this was a horrible week for ski accidents. (I didn't see anyone playing football and skiing, a popular pastime that apparently makes drinking and driving look like a walk in the park.) Meadows has a good deal for beginning boarders (not "shredders"). For $45 you get equipment, a 90-minute lesson and a lift ticket for the bunny slope (Why do they call it the bunny slope? All the rabbits I've ever known are super fast, agile and eat their children). Of course, there was a guy in the class named Chico. But after having my lesson (from a guy from Florida, no less), I agree that it is easier than "two planking"--at least, there's a lot less to think about. When I'm skiing, I'm constantly talking to myself: bend knees, lean forward, keep shoulders faced down mountain, tuck in poles, turn there, avoid trees. With snowboarding, I was thinking: balance, please, no one crash into me, oof, I fell. And, aarrgh, I fell again. Since, as I said, your feet stay together when you fall, there's none of the thigh-ripping, knee-twisting pain that comes with skiing. In fact, though the initial impact can rattle bones, you're mostly landing on your butt or your belly in soft powdery snow--at least I was last weekend, when it snowed constantly. So will I now devote myself to becoming a true "board betty"? Probably not. It's demoralizing to be so incredibly awful at something. But you never know. There's always resolutions for 1999. |
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