Gentle Readers,
One of the joys of manning the Dish desk is the flurry
of press releases that cover the office like so much cotton
blanketing a field in Alabama. Today Miss Dish will interpret
some of her recent correspondence for your reading pleasure.
DEAR MISS DISH,
A food drive is being held at Portland Public Schools
March 6-10. Students will collect food at home and in their
neighborhoods to assist the Oregon Food Bank. Look
out for them. These students are anywhere from 3 feet tall
to 6-foot-something and will most likely be wearing warm
and sensible clothing. They will ask you for canned goods.
Please do not give them the 5-year-old jar of sauerkraut
from the back of your cupboard. We hope the community helps
out. Please put this information in your newspaper.
Love,
The Oregon Food Bank
DEAR MISS DISH,
It has come to our attention that two of the contributors
to the Flavor It Greek cookbook will infiltrate
the premises of Powell's Books for Cooks and Gardeners
at 3747 SE Hawthorne Blvd. at 1 pm Saturday, March 4. These
two assailants, who go by the names Georgia "Olive Oil"
Vareldzis and Paula "Baklava" Diamond, will most
likely be armed with recipes from the Flavor It Greek
manifesto published by Portland's Holy Trinity Greek
Orthodox Church. We have every reason to believe that
these two women will cook food if approached. We ask that,
if anyone from the public sphere has questions, they call
the bookstore immediately and directly at 238-1668. Please
alert the public in your newspaper.
Fond regards,
Powell's Bureau of Investigation
DEAR MISS DISH,
There is a crisis in our community. While more and more
adults of coffee-drinking age are teeming to Portland, at
least 1/3 of them are coffee-illiterate. Imagine a world
where you try to get by without knowing something as simple
as the difference between Arabica and Robusta? Thousands
of people in the Portland metro area deal with this struggle
every day. Peet's Coffee, in an effort to raise the
literacy rate, is offering a free Coffee 101 class
at 6 pm Thursday, March 2, at 508 SW Broadway. Students,
who must register at 973-5540, will receive a one-hour course
in Peet's original coffees. Please put this very important
notice in your newspaper.
Yours truly,
Peet's University
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Willamette Week | originally
published March 1,
2000
|
