|
 |
SUPER HERO ATTACK!
People
of Portland--alert! The tsunami of muscle-bound idiot rock
known as the Sega Dreamcast Family Values Tour slams
into the Rose Garden this week with the promise "Modern Rock
Meets the Future of Gaming!" Limp Bizkit! Filter! Staind!
They claim they "only did it for the nookie," but we know
their secret goal--the brain-death of rock! In honor of this
fusion of metal, mayhem and machines, we at
WW Cybertainment present our own video-game dream,
an action-adventure experience that's fun and
educational! It's...
Operation:
Demolish Durst!
BY ZACH DUNDAS; ART: BWANA SPOONS; CONCEPT: JOHN GRAHAM AND
ZACH DUNDAS
zdundas@wweek.com
|
 |
Let's Play!
You are SuperDestructa, defendress of rock and
roll. Your mission: Defeat the evil hordes of the
Family Values Tour and save pop music from their
awful scourge. It won't be easy, but the cause
is righteous and you're ready for action!
|
|
|
| |
Level
One:
Planet of the Marketoids!
First, you must battle the diabolical propagandists
who seek to convince the kids that Limp Bizkit's evil ilk
play cool and exciting music! Armed with their
Neuro Guns and KUFO pay-for-play scams, they'll try to erase
good taste from your mind, but nimble combat skills and straight
shooting will see you through to... |
 Level
Two:
Revenge of theGoons!
Of course, the forces of evil always surround themselves
with plenty of muscle, so you'll have to overcome
the primitive tribe of Cro-Mags in the whirling chaos
of the mosh! They smashed up Woodstock, but they
can't stop SuperDestructa!
|
Level Three:
Attack of the Killer Klones!
Limp Bizkit has used its sinister self-replicating powers
to spawn a legion of robotic clones! Stop the spread of
their insidious gospel by zapping these followers!
Once you conquer these identical minions, it's time for...
|
|
The
Final Showdown:
Fred Durst!
Fred Durst, dreadful mastermind
of Limp Bizkit, will stop at nothing to attain total
domination of the music world! Payola! A "job" at Interscope!
Magazine ubiquity! He must be stopped before he writes
another lyric! The fiend never counted on SuperDestructa--now
he gets his comeuppance in a shower of laser heat! The
world depends on your victory!
|
 |
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Willamette Week | originally
published October 13,
1999
|
|