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MEASURING Up
 
In spite of running for governor, Bill Sizemore hasn't been too busy to continue his quest to be the public employees union's enemy No. 1.

Last week Sizemore told WW he had enough signatures to qualify a ballot measure for the November election. The measure would curb the use of union dues for political purposes. The constitutional amendment requires 97,681 signatures to qualify for the ballot. Sizemore says he plans to turn in at least 110,000 to the State Elections Division within the next few weeks. Sizemore got most of the signatures using paid circulators. Once he adds the petitions coming in from volunteers, he says, "We'll be coasting over the finish line."

And he may come in first. To date, no other campaign has qualified for the November ballot.

 Should the measure pass come November, it would outlaw the use of public money for political purposes. Since the government pays for the administrative cost of collecting union dues, those contributions would be off-limits for politics. Becky Miller of Oregon Taxpayers United says the group, which Sizemore heads, is not trying to attack unions but admits no other group will be affected directly. "It's a principle thing," she says. "There's no other organization that has access to a public system to raise funds."

Carla Spence, president of the Oregon Public Employees Union, says the OPEU is ready to launch an educational campaign to counter the measure. "It places unions at a political disadvantage in the arena with corporations and other entities who use their funds to promote their organizational and political positions," she says.

Sizemore says this may be the only initiative he circulates this season. Another measure of his, which would require a two-thirds majority vote on any tax measures, has just been approved for circulation. But Sizemore says the final ballot title approved by the attorney general is so confusing he may not seek to put the measure before voters. --Patty Wentz

It's the real thing.
 

Call out the MILITIA
 
It's no secret that Floyd Ferris Landrath and his posse of pro-pot activists aren't too fond of the Portland Police Bureau's Marijuana Task Force. Now, the other end of the political spectrum has joined the party.

Since the January shootout between Task Force members and drug suspect Steven Dons, the mayor's office has received a flurry of correspondence from anti-government activists, including an e-mail from Carl Worden, the "liaison and intelligence officer" for the Southern Oregon Militia.

 Sgt. James Hudson, a Task Force member wounded in the shootout, initially got a chuckle imagining the peace-loving pot proponents and the gun-toting militia members sitting around a table talking conspiracy theories. But others took Worden's vague missive very seriously.

Worden argues that the cops' warrantless search of Dons' home gave him "every right to use whatever force was necessary to repel the legally unwarranted invaders...." Officer Colleen Waibel was killed in the raid; Hudson and another officer were wounded.

 After urging the mayor to discipline the cops for their "lawless act," Worden wrote, "If you fail to perform your sworn duty in this matter, the Militia will commence enforcement actions of its own. This is the message I have been instructed to give you as the Liaison Officer. All members concurring."

 Exactly what "actions" Worden has in mind are unclear. The mayor's spokeswoman, Elisa Dozono, was concerned enough about the letter to urge WW not to write about it. "It only lends them credibility," she said.

Lt. Cliff Madison told WW, "Anybody that writes a letter like this, we're obviously going to look into it. I think a person may look at it and see it as a veiled threat. That may have been the purpose."

 When contacted by WW, Officer Mike Larson, who has been assigned to the case, was cagey. Is the Southern Oregon Militia known for or capable of violence? Larsen wouldn't say. Does Worden have a criminal record? Larsen said he hasn't even looked it up. So, is the letter a threat? "You can read that letter and see whatever you want to see," he told WW.
 --Maureen O'Hagan

 

correction
In our Blue Plate special section, we incorrectly listed the hours of Cafe Marx (WW, March 18, 1998). It is not open for dinner.

WW regrets the error.
 

"To Unmask Falsehood"
 
If Henry James were alive, chances are he'd be heading to Portland just about now, eager to meet a former Corvallis bookseller with a "smoking gun."

"I am haunted by the conviction that the divine William is the biggest and most successful fraud ever practiced on a patient world," James once wrote.

James is hardly the only one skeptical that a provincial actor was capable of writing the greatest work in the English language. Authors from Whitman to Twain and actors from Gielgud to Branagh have all raised doubts about the "Man from Stratford."

This week the "most fascinating literary whodunit in history" moves to Northeast Portland. For the second year running, Concordia University will be hosting the Edward DeVere studies conference, which is a convocation of doubters who hold that DeVere, the 17th Earl of Oxford, was the true author of "Shakespeare."

This year's event promises to be controversial. Roger Stritmatter, a doctoral candidate from Amherst and former Corvallis bookseller, promises to reveal a "smoking gun." Stritmatter has found DeVere's Geneva Bible, which is profuse with marginal notations that parallel lines in the Shakespearean canon.

As Freud once said, "The Man of Stratford seems to have nothing at all to justify his claim, whereas Oxford has almost everything."

The conference runs April 2-5 and will feature a panel of scholars from MIT, the U.S. Air Force Academy, University of Sheffield, England, and St. Andrew's, Scotland.

 Why Concordia? Daniel Wright, chairman of Concordia's English department, is a leading Oxfordian. The conference fee is $55, which covers the campus events as well as an award banquet Saturday night at the Kennedy School; for information, call 288-9371. In a separate event, Wright will speak with Richard Whalen, author of Shakespeare: Who Was He?, at 7:30 pm Friday at Powell's Books. --Steffen Silvis


A PUDDLE TOWN COMPANION
 
When you think of all the folks Garrison Keillor could have picked, Margie Boulé may not have been the most obvious choice for the role of cultural interpreter. Keillor was in town Saturday for a live broadcast edition of his "Prairie Home Companion" show and asked Boulé to join him on stage to answer a few questions about local lore.

Despite her background in radio and television, Boulé says she came down with a mondo case of preshow jitters. She shouldn't have worried. Standing in front of a sold-out crowd at the Schnitz (and a national radio audience of 2.5 million), the Oregonian columnist elegantly ad-libbed her way through a series of not-so-obvious queries and managed to sneak in a jab at our neighbors to the south.

She breezed through our weather (the perpetual forecast for rain keeps expectations low). She easily explained Oregonians' love affair with flannel, denim and Birkenstocks (we try not to dress better than our governors). And she revealed why Portlanders don't talk about eastern Oregon (we're afraid outsiders will buy up all the land reserved for Indian casinos).

But her punchiest line came in response to Keillor's question about how someone (perhaps a visitor considering suicide?) would best spend 48 hours in Portland. Boulé said true Oregonians would cash in their Starbucks coupons and catch a plane to Southern California because, of course, "48 hours there seems like an eternity." --John Schrag

Watching the Big O
 
If you thought last week's Oregonian was scary, you haven't seen anything yet. Last week the daily went to bat for Big Brother, decrying Oregon's first two doctor-assisted suicides. The paper, which vehemently opposed the ballot measure allowing such suicides, questioned whether the two deaths were really as quick and painless as family members, doctors and euthanasia advocates claimed. Given the controversial nature of the voter-approved right-to-die law, the paper said, the state should monitor each doctor-assisted suicide. "Oregonians should be given timely and independent information about each and every assisted suicide--when it occurred, the medications used, the circumstances of death," the paper said in its lead editorial Friday. "People should be aware of every assisted suicide, not just those right-to-die advocates are proud to announce."

Though many Oregonians were disturbed by the call for public oversight of what is perhaps the most private act, WW has learned that the O's editors want to carry this logic to another activity that takes place in bed.

In the past few years, several local governments, including the City of Portland, have extended health benefits to domestic partners of public employees. Since there is no marriage license, the city simply takes the word of employees that the person they live with is more than just a roommate. Oregonian editors are outraged. The draft of an editorial obtained by WW states: "Oregonians should be given timely and independent information about each and every domestic partnership--when it was formed, how often it is consummated, the positions used, the level of satisfaction achieved.... People should be aware of every relationship, not just those domestic partnership advocates are proud to announce.*" --Dean Stuiv

Don't Have a Cow, Man...
 
President Clinton's libido has claimed another victim: Matt Wuerker. The local graphic artist was set to sign a contract with Hallmark Cards when a political cartoon predicting Clinton's demise found its way to the company's corporate offices in Kansas City. The cardmaker apparently had confused Wuerker with another prominent Northwest cartoonist, Matt Groening, and was shocked to learn that Wuerker's portfolio doesn't include a single adorable adolescent on a skateboard.*

A FINE Mess...
 
If you haven't already received a notice from the Central Library warning you to pay up your overdue fines, don't worry, you will. Director Ginnie Cooper has made a list and is checking it twice, but she's kept the record of library delinquents as secretive as a cop shop internal investigation report. Willamette Week's middle-school intern, Dorothy Com, hacked into the library's computer system and downloaded the list. After looking it over, we can see why Cooper wanted to keep it secret. The offending patrons and their overdue materials include: Bill Sizemore (Das Kapital), Phil Knight (When Corporations Rule the World), Gus Van Sant (The Story of the Titanic as Told by Its Survivors), John Kitzhaber (Decorating on the Cheap), Tri-Met director Tom Walsh (What Color Is Your Parachute?), Art Alexakis (I Am the Cheese), Gretchen Kaufory (Dress for Success) and Isaiah Rider (How to Win Friends and Influence People.)*

You'll find the complete list of library losers at: www.publicfigurestakingadvantageofyourtaxdollars.com.
 

The Full Charlie
 
Talk about full disclosure! City Commissioner Charlie Hales, whose plan for a community center in Gabriel Park has drawn fire from neighbors, is trying to make amends. The veteran lawmaker agreed to headline an April 1 burlesque show to raise money for the Southwest Community Neighborhood Association. Although some neighborhood residents may be offended by the commissioner's willingness to bare more than his soul, Hales aide Marc Zolton says his boss felt the need to show critics "he has nothing to hide."*
 --Adam Sams

Originally published: Willamette Week - April 1, 1998