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Oh, Ricky, you so fine! You so fine, you blow my mind! Ricky
Martin comes to town for one night. Oh yeah!
Rose
Garden Arena, 1401 N Wheeler Ave., 224-4400. 8 pm Thursday,
July 27.
$35-$75.
Looking
for some great circuit queen dance music? Try the selection
of Global Groove tunes at Balloons On Broadway (531 SW Broadway,
241-3336). A delicious mix of music geared for the gay crowd,
recent themed compilations include "Passion," "Thrill" and
"Dignity."
Feed
QW: Send savory bits of information to Byron
Beck at bbeck@
wweek.com at least 10 days prior to publication.
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Dear Little Ricky,
As a longtime member of the queer nation, I am writing
to you on behalf of the brotherhood of homos. No, silly,
I am not going to "out" you. You are doing a fine job of
that all by yourself. Rather, I would like to encourage
you to take a larger role in our fun-loving, gay community.
Ricky, it's time for you to become a "circuit queen."
Mr. Cutie Pants, you've got the look, and I promise you,
you'd be a sweet addition to the scene. The "circuit" is
a series of pumped-up parties that are held 'round the world
but somehow seem to center in the North American gayland
playlands of New York, Miami and Palm Springs, Calif. The
next biggie is in Hotlanta, Ga., the second weekend of August.
It's a world of sex, drugs and dance music that could be
yours!
At these disco bacchanals, little more would be required
from your hot butt than your hot butt itself, a strict adherence
to the fashion code (tight pants, tight shirt, tight haircut)
and a continuous flow of moolah.
You've got all those, Mister Swivel Hips...but you've got
more.
Don't forget to flex those intellectual muscles. As the
crystal meth-fueled wee hours stretch on, you too can expound
your theories of sexual relativity to the great minds that
seem to flock to these events like geeks to a circuit board.
You might even have an Andrew Sullivan sighting! Yes, even
New York Times Magazine scribes-cum-neo-cons enjoy
a little T&A on the circuit. Thanks be to God there's
church on Sunday.
Think about it. No longer will you have to shake your bon-bons
in front of the glazed-over gals that have adored you for
two teeny generations. Finally, after years of denying your
true nature, you can unleash your inner Latin homo-lover
on a willing audience and cater to a more muscular crowd.
And Ricky, it will be good for you, too.
Still, whether or not you chose to join the ever-growing
army of circuit clones, it won't really matter. Long after
your fickle straight fans have left you for some other closet
case, no matter what, we will still love you. At least until
you hit 35. Who could ask for anything more?
Love,
Your No. 1 Fan,
Byron
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