Seen a Rogue on the loose? Get in touch with our Roguemeister: JOHN SCHRAG jschrag@wweek.com (503) 243-2122 FAX: (503) 243-1115 If you came to Portland with 900 tons of garbage and dumped it on every doorstep in town, there would be enormous public outcry, a thorough investigation by various environmental groups, steep fines and possibly criminal charges. But when a company calls itself a directory, slaps the names and numbers of local businesses up next to its gratuitous advertising and then unloads that same 900 tons of paper waste onto every home and business in the city, it's a whole different story. That's just what Worldpages.com did last week, when it began distributing some 400,000 yellow-page directories across Portland. Weighing in at 4 pounds, 10 ounces each, the cumbersome books arrived despite the fact that most Portlanders neither wanted nor needed the junk mail on steroids. John Woodall, head of Worldpages' Pacific Coast Directory division, makes no apologies. As a competitor in the phonebook market, he says, Worldpages views itself as an example of "the true American tradition of free enterprise." The problem with this analogy is that most customers receive their regular phonebooks in conjunction with their phone service, whereas the Worldpages directory is completely unsolicited. Moreover, Tim Williams of Qwest Dex says that although the Qwest book is delivered automatically with new service, customers can always ask for a book to not be delivered. Worldpages says the same thing, but admits it is a lot more difficult. "It is near impossible [not to get a book delivered] because carriers go door-to-door," Woodall says. "We don't have a list, we just go up and down a block. Of course, we could send a supervisor after delivery if a customer didn't want a book." (Call 650-8484.) So like it or not, expect your welcome mat to be darkened by Worldpages.com--a needless product, packed full of commercial advertising, whose clean-up costs are dumped on you. How convenient.