There's no denying
the thrill of ripping into a full stocking on Christmas morn--at
any age. A trove of tiny treasures awaits, sans tedious wrapping
paper and ribbon. But sometimes the fat guy in the red suit
lacks inspiration, leaving the downhearted digger with an
overabundance of tired toothbrushes, fermenting fruit and
measly refrigerator magnets. As Santa's little helpers, we
offer these suggestions.
1. Polaroid I-Zone Instant Pocket Camera
($24.99 at Toys 'R' Us, various locations)
The ideal camera for convenience-culture kids big and small,
this long-awaited, Japanese-made pocket Polaroid boasts
"mini photos right now." Just load the tiny film pack, shoot,
and pull out the 11/2-by-1-inch photos out. It
makes waiting in line for a turn at the sticker-photo booth
obsolete; the immediate satisfaction can make this habit
as addictive as Viagra. Two AA batteries and one film pack
for six exposures are included. Film comes in sticker and
non-adhesive form ($6.29-$7.99 at selected Fred Meyer stores).
2. Bee & Flower Sandalwood Soap
(55 cents
at Fred Meyer, various locations)
Only suckers fork over 10 bucks for thick slabs of pretty
soap at high-end gift stores. Smart Santas stock up on this
thrifty, fragrant alternative while picking up reindeer
feed at the local grocery. The fresh sandalwood scent of
this long-lasting, terracotta bar appeals to girls and
guys, and the ornate packaging is its own beautiful
wrapping.
3. Trick squirt lighter
($2.49 at All Wound Up, Lloyd Center, Northeast Multnomah
Street and 9th Avenue,
493-2826)
If you can tolerate the buzzing, whirring, barking and
flying of millions of motorized toys at this store long
enough to shop, pick up a few tacky novelty tricks at the
counter. A fine replacement for my long-lost, water-spewing
pack of faux Marlboros, this squirt lighter is sure to piss
off any and all smokers who fall for it. It's more fun than
a hand buzzer yet more tasteful than fart gum.
4. E-mergen-C Lite vitamin C
(40 cents a packet
at Nature's Fresh Northwest, various locations)
You can give up swallowing horse pills and chewing chalky
tablets during cold and flu season if Santa sticks E-mergen-C
packets in your sock this year. The magical powder is packed
with vitamin C (1,666 percent of the Recommended Daily Value,
to be exact) and mineral complexes. It fizzes, Alka Seltzer-style,
when added to a few ounces of water or juice. The tangy,
citrusy flavor and antioxidant power make this sugar- and
calorie-free mix a good hangover helper, too. Cranberry,
regular and tangerine flavors are also available.
5. Zurah Lynn tights
($10-$17, Haggis McBaggis, 6802 SE Milwaukie Ave.,
234-0849)
Wee ones who love to don dresses will be thrilled to find
a pair of these wild stockings ("Legwear for Little Divas")
in their stockings. Styles range from bright citrus fruit
or cherries to psychedelic patterns and East Indian photo
graphics--a welcome departure from traditional black or
white to slip into a pair of shiny Mary Janes. Girls' tights
are sized as crawling, walking, sashaying and strutting
divas; recently added adult hosiery (same as the kids' but
called "Look from London") includes plus sizes.
6. Boyajian Garlic Oil
($1.79 at Cost Plus World
Market, 2315 NW Westover Road, 916-1606)
Cost Plus is a lifesaver for last-minute Santas. The vast,
import-themed store has everything from miniature Nutella
packets to elfin jars of fancy mustard, tiny Tabasco sauces
and this garlic-infused olive oil in a container the size
of an airplane mini-liquor bottle. Unlike sticky candy canes
that linger long past Easter, quality olive oil rarely goes
unappreciated (especially if there's a fresh loaf of Como
bread nearby). It's easier on the heart and blood sugar
than syrupy chocolate-covered cherries, too.
7. Stainless steel tea infuser spoon
($2.50 at the Kobos Company, various locations)
'Tis the season for sipping hot liquids by a fire, so why
not help broaden a tea drinker's horizons with a tea infuser
spoon? This basic, stainless-steel model engulfs loose tea
with Venus flytrap-like action to be steeped in a favorite
mug of hot water. Include a wide range of herbal teas from
the bulk section of a favorite health-food store to allay
a chamomile rut.
8. 'Zines
(prices vary, about 50 cents to $5 each, at Reading
Frenzy, 921 SW Oak St., 274-1449)
Thanks to grandmas around the world who bestow gift subscriptions
every year, the decrepit Reader's Digest continues
to thrive. Gift-givers in the know, however, grab a handful
of inexpensive 'zines from this local indie-press emporium--much
more engaging reads for the progressive-minded. Beer
Frame, Moonshine, Dish-Washer, teen sleuth, doris
and Cometbus are faves among the vast selection
of DIY publications. Tiny art books and comics on these
shelves also fit the bill.
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Willamette Week | originally
published December 15,
1999
|
