Nutcracker
Keller
Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 222-5538. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday,
2 and 7:30 pm Saturday, 1 and
5 pm Sunday, Dec. 7-10.
$5.50-$87
The
Nut Has Finally Cracked
Keller
Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 222-5538. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Wednesday,
Dec. 12-13. $5.50-$87.
Tonight, Oregon Ballet Theatre unleashes its
prized cash cow, The Nutcracker, on an audience
that's eager for traditional holiday sights like sugarplum
fairies and men in really tight tights.
Ho. Ho. Hum.
But wait! Before you go running off to your next swell
Santa-themed office party, you should know this: OBT's artistic
director, James Canfield (the driving force behind OBT's
imperial Russia-based production), plans--for two performances
at least--to turn his tried-and-true (and some say tired)
Christmas classic inside out with the aptly titled spoof
The Nut Has Finally Cracked.
But sneaking a peek at what Canfield plans to do with these
two performances has proved to be as difficult as trying
to reopen a Florida ballot box.
So, in an effort to inform the public, and in keeping with
the spirit of the season, I have decided to lift this "shroud
of mystery" and decide for myself how I think the quick-thinking
Canfield might twist this particular tale.
| |
NUTCRACKER |
CRACKED NUTS |
| MUSIC |
Besides The Nutcracker score, OBT's production
pays tribute to Tchaikovsky's other classics with cuts
from both Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty. |
Canfield might finally get his groove by providing
slick MTV-worthy tracks from such video staples as
the Backstreet Boys, Marilyn Manson and Alvin &
The Chipmunks. The music of the night could take members
of the audience to faraway places with strange names
like the "The Land of Tech-Sno," where the Snow Queen
(think Lena Horne in The Wiz) belts out A
Night on Disco Mountain as the Snow King (Sisqo)
sings The Thong Song to a group of mud-wrestling
midget candy wrappers.
|
| FASHION |
The cold weather of Russia keeps partygoers covered
up in more ways than one. |
If this show is anything like his other "world premieres,"
Canfield's stage will surely be stocked with plenty
of scantily clad, ass-wriggling women dressed in tattered,
breast-revealing lingerie, as well as bare-chested chaps
stalking the stage in nothing but buttless chaps and
an odd assortment of water pistols. |
| DANCE |
Beyond the usual pirouettes and plies, Canfield adds
many of his sharp-edged, leggy post-classical movements
to several sections throughout Act I and Act II.
|
Will Canfield funk things up? Does a dancing bear
grind in the woods? You can bet on it. And you can bet
that this Funky Navidad will get even funkier with the
(almost) guaranteed appearance of a certain (extraordinary)
aerobics teacher who I am (damn sure) positive will
steal the show. Or perhaps Canfield will go in a completely
different direction and sneak in some subtle movements
from such cinematic dance classics as Footloose,
Flashdance and Showgirls. You just can never
tell with this guy. |
| CHARACTERS |
Canfield packs this show with a wonderful assortment
of colorful characters including a dancing bagpipe,
wind-up dolls, woodland creatures, Arabian royalty,
Russian candies, a sugarplum fairy (and a few heavy-lifting,
hot-looking hunks thrown in for good measure).
|
In the stunt casting department, I would love to see
Tonya Harding take a crack at gender-crossing and drop
her skates to take on the role of the Nutcracker Prince
(a natural choice, dontcha think?). As the King of Rats,
I would hope the Green Party could spare their fearless
leader, Mr. Ralph Nader, for a couple of nights. In
the Snowflake--oh, I mean, Snow Maiden Department, an
obvious choice would be all those she-males from Peacock
in the Park. They could use some extra exposure, and
they'd help turn that section of the show into something
more akin to Auntie Mame meets the Trocks.
And, of course, the plum role of the Sugar Plum Fairy
would have to be shared between the two local queens
of the scene: Darcelle XV and Mayor Vera Katz. Who else
could be that fabulous? |
| SETS |
For Canfield's production, designer Campbell Baird
created nearly a dozen scenes to help keep this show
paced like a pop-up picture book.
|
Think St. Petersburg meets Studio 54. Or, in other
words: Is that snow I see falling, or did I just
end up in the middle of an old episode of Miami
Vice? |
|
