The fax that arrived here at Rogue Investigations Inc. was as sad as the employee-of-the-month contest at the collection agency downstairs.

In the unmistakable script of a dame in distress, a sweetheart of a girl named Brenda Lockwood claimed she'd been taken advantage of at the Yamhill Pub, a downtown gin joint not too far from our office. She wanted some help, and she seemed like an OK kind of kid. So we offered to make a few calls and try to sort things out.

Ms. Lockwood, it turns out, had been investing a few shekels in her video-poker portfolio on Jan. 9 and was enjoying the company of Lady Luck. According to a complaint we dug up from the mouthpiece over at Lottery, Ms. Lockwood had cashed in three video-poker slips during the course of the day, each worth $75. When she cashed in the third one, however, the bartender--a tricky little number who goes by the name of Tammy--only shelled out 70 bucks, saying it was the pub's new policy to keep a five-spot as a "gratuity."

Ms. Lockwood has no beef with the service industry. In fact, she says she'd slipped Tammy $2 earlier in the day--and left an extra four bits on the counter when ordering a Pepsi.

"I tried to be very adult about this," Ms. Lockwood says, "but she made it very hard. After some choice words between both of us, I told her she needed to grow up. She called me an old lady."

Ms. Lockwood (who's 40, but "looks younger than that") says that when she reminded the barkeep about the previous tips she'd left, Tammy said "I could shove the $2.50 up my ass."

Now, just to cover her bases, Ms. Lockwood also notified the suits at the state gaming office. A couple of Lottery gumshoes paid a visit to the Yamhill on Jan. 11 and confirmed Ms. Lockwood's story. They chewed out the managers and got them to promise to return Ms. Lockwood's $5.