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Earlier this year, B.o.B. engaged in the strangest beef in the history of rap: He feuded with Neil deGrasse Tyson over the shape of the earth. You see, the singer-rapper born Bobby Ray Simmons subscribes to the theory that the planet is flat, and even recorded a song about it (in which he shouts out a known Holocaust denier, but hey). That prompted the celebrity astrophysicist to respond with a dis track of his own, via his nephew. It was all really bizarre, but it's also the most anyone has talked about B.o.B. in years. There are certainly worse gimmicks than "conspiracy theory rapper," after all. What lies should he debunk next? We've got some ideas.
1. Stevie Wonder isn't really blind.
As with B.o.B.'s beloved flat-earth theory, it's unclear what the sinister benefit of this conspiracy is supposed to be. Maybe the Illuminati runs the Braille industry? Run with it, B.o.B.!
2. Beyoncé was never actually pregnant.
Yes, it would poke the Beyhive, but at this point in B.o.B's career, no attention is bad attention. Call him Bobby with the no-hair.
3. Chemtrails.
Actually, this is probably coming any day now.
4. Neil deGrasse Tyson orchestrated 9/11.
I just made this one up…or did I? Why else would he care so much about proving Earth is round? Think about it.
5. The moon landings were faked.
An oldie but goodie, in the sense that rapping about it would increase the likelihood of B.o.B. getting punched in the face by Buzz Aldrin, which is a good thing indeed.
SEE IT: B.o.B. plays Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., with Scotty ATL and London Jae, on Sunday, May 22. 8 pm. $17.50. All ages.
Willamette Week