2 Chainz wasn't featured on the Migos hit "Bad and Boujee," but over the course of his multi-decade rap career, the Atlanta MC has developed an unrivaled taste for the finer things in life. Here are just five of the most sterling examples.
"I get a flat tire/I buy a new car"
Overprotective parents used to fear rap music would cause their kids to get involved with drugs and gangs. Now they should fear rap music will destroy their kids' credit scores and put Les Schwab out of business.
"My outfit's insane, ain't that evident/My chain had another chain like it was pregnant/My favorite dish is turkey lasagna/Even my pajamas designer"
I really enjoy picturing 2 Chainz sneaking downstairs in a two-piece silk Versace pajama set for a late-night turkey lasagna snack. I do not enjoy picturing what goes on between his chains in the jewelry drawer at night.
"Inside of the Maybach look like it came out of Ikea"
The Swedish furniture company isn't the pinnacle of luxury, but have you ever seen a car interior as sexy as their sexiest products? Imagine reclining in a curved Poäng chair, feeling a Rens sheepskin rug in between your toes, and opening a fastidiously-organized center console comprised of miniature Kallax cubes, all while barrelling down I-5.
"Chain cost a coupe, coupe cost a crib/Riding with the chopper, like it's my friend/This for real niggas only, I still bet with Kobe/Got a sign in my garage that say 'Foreign Only'"
You just qualified for a loan big enough to buy a new midsize sedan? Congratulations! You can almost afford 2 Chainz's latest piece of jewelry.
"When I die, bury me inside the Louis store"
December, 2066. A drizzly morning in Atlanta. A line of black limousines snakes north from 2 Chainz's native College Park, toward Lenox Square Mall in Buckhead. Solemnly marching down the fluorescent-lit halls, pallbearers carry a designer casket toward the mall's Louis Vuitton store. A tomb emblazoned with "LV" monograms rises from the floor. "It's just what he would've wanted," sobs an onlooking family member.
SEE IT: 2 Chainz plays Roseland Theater, 8 NW Sixth Ave., with the Trap Choir and Young Dolph, on Sunday, August 19. 8 pm. Sold out. All ages.