gear & action table of contents
HOW TO GET ACROSS THE STREET
Foot Traffic | Pop Cycle Coolers | Auto-Erotica
HOW TO GET UP THAT HILL
Two Ways to Mount Hood | Backcountry Jammin'-boree | Mountain Climbers
HOW TO GET DOWN THE RIVER--OR UP THE CREEK
Paddling-4-Dummies | Get Your Motor Running
Not satisfied with man-powered watersports? Need the smell of gasoline to get you going? Have a few
grand burning a hole in your wallet? Sounds like personal watercrafts (a.k.a. jet skis) are calling your name. These hot rods of the sea are bound to satisfy that hunger for Hummer dingers.
Squirt Guns: Warning--if you do not love the smell of vinyl and gasoline, this is not the equipment for you. But if you long for those scents, a jet-ski dealership will likely arouse more than just your senses. Personal-watercraft aficionados will be happy to know that their sport just got classy. Gone are the stereotypic visions of big truck-driving, beer-guzzling, Freedom-rock-loving meatheads who ruin idyllic summer days polluting lakes and ears with their loud, stinky waverunners. Fear no more, folks; the Mercedes-Benz of the waters has arrived. From the makers of the Challenger 604 Learjet comes the Bombardier Sea-Doo GTX-4TEC ($9,500-$9,900, SK Northwest Inc., 1447 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-2510), the leader in a "new era of watercraft." A three-seater with 155 horses coming out of a four-stroke engine rather than the usual gas-guzzling two-stroke variety, this vehicle will have yuppies running to appropriate what was once a white-trash hobby. Available in metallic red with gold trim, this baby rivals most luxury cars in presentation. With a top speed of 59 mph, it's not the fastest personal watercraft on the market, but who cares? In the GTX-4TEC, you'll want people to take notice.
Butt Busters: Low on cash? Still like big-hair bands? Drinking Pabst a favorite pastime? Don't worry--you don't have to be a personal-watercraft owner to feel like one. Jet-ski rentals are an affordable way to show the big boys you're just as tough as they are. For $50 an hour, $165 for a half-day (four hours) or $225 for a whole day, you too can join the ranks of your more financially blessed (or priority-challenged) brethren with a Sea-Doo GTS jet-ski rental (SK Rentals, 3409 NE Marine Drive, 284-6447). SK starts early-season rentals on the weekends; in the full heat of summer, however, you'll be able to get your fix seven days a week from three different locations around the Portland area.
Get Wet: Ever heard of swimming, dude?