Purse, handbag, tote…whatever you call it these days, lugging around a bag o’ crap is part of a female’s DNA. Even though it’s a health hazard. You heard me: Big bags jam-packed with crap (weigh yours sometime—you’ll be surprised) have been linked to back, shoulder and neck pain, and even arthritis. Whatever, silly doctor-type people. Ginormous purses are totally cool. But still, it made me wonder: What the hell is in those things? What is so earth-shatteringly important that it simply must be on our person at all times? So, welcome to the first installment of Consumer Whore’s new series: Hey, Lady! What’s in That Big-Ass Bag?
Lady: Rebecca Merrill, 23, painting student at PNCA
Bag: Big-ass BMI canvas tote
Found: Smoking out in front of Yur’s on Northwest 16th Avenue.
Why carry around a big-ass bag? “’Cause I always have to be prepared at any moment—and also to snack at all times.”
- Three packs of unopened art markers.
- Twelve pens
- One eraser
- One makeup bag containing: toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, six bobby pins lip gloss. (When asked if it was a sleepover kit, and if so, where was the underwear, Rebecca shrugged and said, “If you’d found me 15 minutes ago they’d be in there, too.”)
- One package of Mentos Pure Fresh chewing gum
- One overstuffed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wallet
- A few overdue bills
- One note about rent written on a ripped piece of brown paper bag
- One checkbook
- Half-eaten bag of carrots
- One pack of American Spirits and one blue lighter
- One bus transfer
- One blond foosball guy (“I found him on the street and have been carrying him around ever since.”)