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Musicians Are Not Teamsters

[Re: "Fair Trade Music," WW, Sept. 30, 2009:] The idea of paying musicians simply for their time and presence (and ignoring factors such as promotional ability or talent) makes about as much sense as paying a mechanic thousands of dollars for an oil change because he was featured on Pimp My Ride. Performers should accept that, as opposed to being compensated for objectively valuable labor (i.e. an oil change), they are providing entertainment, which is subjective labor. If you put on a boring show and lack a fanbase (and a draw) outside of the SE 39th area, you don't deserve to get paid. On the flipside, if your band is as ridiculously awesome as, say, my band, then you may succumb to math and realize that five hundred in merch and CD sales dwarfs anything coming from the door on a six-artist bill.

Further, there is a thing in the music industry called "paying dues." The potential rewards of your career (drugs, women, awesome venues, etc.) are yin to the yang of the potential hazards (drugs, women, playing for free, etc). Mickey Avalon used to suck dick outside of the Shockra for dope money. What the fuck happened to dying for your art? Should we start paying other performance artists a guarantee too? Here Gypsy, you take this five hundred dollars and I'm gonna TRUST that you give me a good lap dance. Here ya go NoPo Whiteboyz, thanks for bringing a two-hour set and twelve hype men. That logic is fucked.

Finally, to all the members and supporters of this fair trade bullshit, are you driven by morality, or just money? If you played a venue that tossed your band two grand at the end of a poppin' show, would you refuse to accept it upon learning that the same venue had stiffed one of your indie teamster buddies the prior weekend?

Statutory Ray
Musician/producer

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