Forget the trick-or-treaters. Leave a bowl of candy outside your door, put on your best Twilight costume and down a couple Red Bulls. (You'll need the caffeine. Trust me.) Portland loves Halloween, and why not? There are enough weirdos here to turn the usual one-night-only event into a three-day fete. There'll be parties for the hip set, haunted houses for the brave (see our reviews here), creepy shows for the curious and even some kid-friendly parades and festivals for those who would rather stay sober. Let us break it down for you:
Mount Tabor Theater is hosting a weekend of special Halloween-themed concerts this weekend, culminating in a night of scary movies, a pumpkin-carving contest and plenty of dance music.
Disjecta: Old-Fashioned Halloween Hoedown and Late-Night Ass-Shakin'
Bring out your inner child at Disjecta's carnival game-filled hoedown during the day; bring out your inner party animal at its star-studded dance party—featuring Copy, E*Rock, Atole, Guidance Counselor and DJ Automaton—that night. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449. Hoedown noon-4 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. $5. All ages. Dance party 9 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. $10. 21+.
Two-for-One Halloween Party
Get two parties for the price of one at Backspace and Someday Lounge. The gothic dance parties will feature Mortal Clay, fire dancers, burlesque and a costume contest. Someday Lounge and Backspace, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030, and 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 7 pm-2 am Saturday, Oct. 31. $6. $1 discount with donation to Oregon Food Bank. 21+ at Someday Lounge. All ages at Backspace.
PICA Blackout Dance Party
Join the hipsters at the Ace Hotel for super-cool vintage horror movies, only slightly irritating dance music and specialty cocktails from New Deal. The Ace is offering specially priced rooms for those of you wanting to reenact prom night. The Cleaners at Ace Hotel, 1022 SW Stark St., 228-2277. 8 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. $8 general. $6 PICA members. Includes one drink. Rooms start at $95. 21+.
Thriller! Halloween Music Party
A night of creepy techno music featuring Voodeux, Amp Live and MartyParty, as well as a special secret guest act (perhaps performing "Thriller"?). Wear a costume and you could win a $150 prize. 2410 N Mississippi Ave., 8 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. 21+
Bollywood Horror VII
Psychedelic Bollywood visuals? Crazy South Asian costumes? DJ Anjali? Sign me up! Fez Ballroom, 316 SW 11th Ave., 221-7262. 9 pm-3 am Saturday, Oct. 31. $10 with costume. 21+.
A Nightmare on Burnside: A Get-Ups and Get Down Halloween Gala
The Rose City Rollers present a night of mayhem, complete with a Not-So-Talented Talent Show and plenty of hotter-than-Ellen Page badass roller derby ladies. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 236-2454. 9 pm-2:30 am Saturday, Oct. 31. $20 per person, $35 per couple; includes two drinks and a raffle ticket. 21+.
For the seventh year in a row, the HOWL Hellions will be throwing one of the largest Halloween parties in Portland. There'll be four different stages of music featuring around 20 different music acts—sheer insanity guaranteed.
Vagabond Opera: Baba Yaga Ball
The always quirky performance troupe says it best: "Whether you want to dance, party, pray or channel your ancestors, this night is for you." The night will feature a range of interactive events like an altar dedicated to honoring the dead, an apothecary and museum of weird objects, and an ancient fire ritual in honor of Baba Yaga, the Slavic witch. The Woods, 6637 SE Milwaukie Ave., 890-0408. 9:30 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. $16 in advance, $17 at the door.
Maize at the Pumpkin Patch
One haunted "Field of Screams" doesn't quite fill the scary-weird quota for the Pumpkin Patch. This year, its main Maize has been designed to celebrate the Trail Blazers. Creepy.
Alice's Dark Wonderland
Apparently the original wasn't scary enough. 1434 NW 17th Ave., darkestdreamsentertainment.com. 7-10 pm Thursday-Saturday, Oct. 29-31. All ages. $10.
Seven Deadly Sins
Strippers and serial killers—it's all you need. 1434 NW 17th Ave., darkestdreamsentertainment.com. 7-10 pm Thursday-Saturday, Oct. 29-31. 18+.
Three of the most horrifying haunted houses in Portland in one of the scariest places in Portland—the basement of the Rose Garden. I'm scared just thinking about the parking. Rose Garden Memorial Coliseum Exhibit Hall, 1 Center Court, frighttown.com. 7-10 pm Sunday-Thursday and 7-11 pm Friday-Saturday through Nov. 1. $20.
Krakow Cafe is holding the scariest costume contest of the year—show up dressed like Martha Stewart to win a chance at a free meal.
Mood Area 52 Performs Nosferatu
Highbrow cinema nerds rejoice! Tango band Mood Area 52 will perform the entire score from the cultish 1922 German expressionist horror film Nosferatu. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 9 pm Friday, Oct. 30. $6. 21+.
Scream! Featuring Goose Bumps! The Science of Fear
OMSI's fearful fall-winter exhibit celebrates Halloween by outfitting volunteers with a beard of 5,000 bees. OMSI, 1945 SE Water Ave., 797-4671. 11 am, 12:30 pm and 2 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. $11 adult, $9 under 14.
Lone Fir Cemetery Tour of Untimely Departures
Want some real-life ghost stories? Come "meet" some deceased cemetery "residents" and hear all about the unusual circumstances surrounding their deaths. Lone Fir Cemetery, Southeast 26th Avenue and Stark Street, friendsoflonefircemetery.org. 6-9 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. Suggested donation of $5 for individuals and $10 for families.
Occult USA: Process Church Sabbath Assembly Ritual
In the most insane Halloween performance Portland has seen in a while, Sound@One and the Sabbath Assembly Band will re-create a 1960s psychedelic ritual originally performed by the notorious occult Process Church of the Final Judgment. What exactly does this mean? We're not quite sure, but black cloaks, Satan and a gnostic Christ figure will be involved. Sounds incredible. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 753-4473. 8 pm Sunday, Nov. 1. $15.
Day of the Dead Street Procession
Last Thursday on Alberta gets a little spooky every month—but especially this month with a community Dia de los Muertos procession honoring deceased ancestors. Stick around afterward and check out the community altars at the Guardino Gallery.
For a more literary Halloween, come listen to five original horror stories told in homage to The Twilight Zone. Each story was written specifically for the event by local authors and they will be performed by Northwest Children's Theater and School performance troupe. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 228-6972. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, Oct. 30-31. $10 adults, $6 youth/student.
Learn "Thriller" and Get a Date
Is dancing like a zombie really a good way to snag a date? Singlelicious and Polaris Dance Theatre think so. They'll be teaching Michael Jackson lovers fly dance moves from "Thriller" this Friday, culminating in a classwide reenactment. Polaris Contemporary Dance Center, 1501 SW Taylor St., 380-5472. 7:30-9:30 pm Friday, Oct. 30. $13.
Day of the Dead at Someday Lounge
Get over your hangover and/or bring your kids to the downtown Dia de Los Muertos parade. There'll be altar building and sugar-skull decorating workshops before the parade, and then participants can samba behind the Lions of Batucada band and seraphic stilt creatures. Workshops at Someday Lounge. 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 1:30 pm Sunday, Nov. 1. Parade begins at Southwest 4th Avenue and Yamill Street. 3-7 pm. All ages.
Pumpkin Carving Fundraiser with Chefs from Urban Farmer
The chefs from Urban Farmer will do a good deed this Halloween by carving pumpkins with the Blazers Boys and Girls Club. Do your part to help out—dine at Urban Farmer on Oct. 29-31 to vote on your favorite.
More fun than the Charlie Brown special, the event will feature a pumpkin-carving contest, a kids' costume parade, cooking demos and plenty of family-friendly surprises.
SCRAP and Din Din Halloween Photo Shoot
Fulfill all of your America's Next Top Model dreams at Din Din's Halloween photo shoot and dinner. Tim Gunther will be snapping photos while you dine on delicacies cooked up by Courtney Sproule and Immortal Pie. Daedalus Cellars will provide wine, and there will also be a trunk show and silent auction to benefit SCRAP (the School and Community Reuse Action Project). Tim Gunther Studios, 917 NW 19th Ave., 547-5833. 3-7 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. $10.
Too old to go door to door? Pix still loves you. It'll be handing out free treats to anyone in costume starting at 5 pm on Halloween. If you can't make it on Saturday, it's also offering special jack-o'-lantern treats between now and Nov. 1. Pix Pâtisserie, 3901 N Williams Ave., 282-6539, and 3402 SE Division St., 232-4407. 5 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. Free.
Halloween Meal at Beast
Celebrate Halloween in style this year by dining at Beast—the staff will be decked out in costumes and serve in character the whole evening. After the meal, stick around for dancing and hip debauchery. Don't forget to wear your own costume; after all, expensive food is best eaten with vampire teeth.
Beast, 5425 NE 30th Ave., 841-6968. 6 and 8:45 pm Saturday, Oct. 31. $60 for 6 courses.