Gossip Steamier Than A John Edwards Sex Tape.

1. CHARGER? I HARDLY KNOW HER: When Chrysler hired Portland ad agency Wieden+Kennedy to launch a new campaign for the Dodge Charger at the Super Bowl, the bailed-out car company was looking to make a statement. It certainly did. The Wieden+Kennedy ad, called “Man’s Last Stand,” features sad, browbeaten dudes and a gender-skirmish voiceover with lines like, “I will put the seat down. I will separate the recycling. I will carry your lip balm.… And because I do this, I will drive the car I want to drive.” (A Dodge Charger, as it turns out.) The 60-second spot has been singled out by pundits as the worst of a crop of sexist commercials: “Caring about the earth,” groused U.K.’s The Guardian, “is an unmanly pursuit best left to your harpy arm-candy.” Grunt.
2. EMPTY WOMB: We’re still not entirely sure if it’s a gag or not, but a post on Wombstretcha the Magnificent’s MySpace page claims the joke-rap group is hanging up its mics for good after a final show this Sunday, Feb. 14, at the Ash Street Saloon. It’s fitting that Wombstretcha’s last show would come on V-Day, considering the feel-good nature of jams like “SoundProof Van” and “Kiss Me Where I Pee (Or You’ll Get My Wang in Your Shithole).” In the rambling post, Wombstretcha and partner Statutory Ray thank former radio jock Rick Emerson, former WW music editor Amy McCullough and Ron Jeremy. “We’ve cut albums, cut lines, cut hookers and cut loose apes from the zoo,” Ray says. “As the Grateful Dead might say, ‘What a long, strange trip it’s been.’ But to that I say, ‘Fuck you, you stupid hippies, I lives on my own terms.’”

1. BEAVER HILLS, 90210: If the Portland Beavers Triple-A baseball team is indeed shoved out of town, it will be at the cost of one nascent fan: Luke Perry, the former Beverly Hills, 90210 heartthrob. In town last summer to film a guest spot on TNT’s Leverage, Perry took in a minor-league baseball game, he recently told iF Magazine. “I’ll tell you what, I loves me some Portland,” he said. “I had a really good time there. We went and saw the Beavers play, we shot in a couple of neat locations downtown. I had a great hotel. I loved Portland.” No word if the city plans to repurpose Perry’s hotel for soccer.
2. DATE NIGHT: Last Thursday at the Bagdad, a handful of well-known media types and politicos at Planned Parenthood’s “It’s Not Me, It’s You: Tales From the Dark Side of Dating” show confessed some of their worst romantic encounters to a near-capacity crowd. The night’s best revelations? One-time vegetarian County Commish Jeff Cogen once found himself in a screaming match with a steak-devouring, fur-wearing she-beast from hell named Lishka in a fancy restaurant. Scribe and stage man Jimmy Radosta didn’t come out of the closet until he was 27 and didn’t start dating until age 32. And Planned Parenthood Advocates of Oregon head Roey Thorpe’s so-called “friends” once set her up with a toothless hag under house arrest in a single-wide trailer in Gresham. Photo courtesy of Andie Petkus.

WWeek 2015