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October 6th, 2010 ROBERT HAM | Headout
 

Forgive Me Satan

My top five metal confessions.

     
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ILLUSTRATION: Lukas Ketner

Bless me, Satan, for I have sinned. I have not taken heavy metal seriously until just this year. If it’s any consolation, I’m taking it very seriously now. Case in point: There’s no way I’m going to miss this year’s edition of the Fall Into Darkness Festival. It’s a who’s-who of who’s great in the Northwest and national metal scene right now—Rabbits, Danava, Krallice and Black Cobra, to name just a few. And there’s an appearance by a newly reunited the Need and the badass, Sabbath-loving trio from San Diego, Earthless. But before this weekend, I feel I owe it to the Dark Lord to clear the air about my very bumpy relationship with heavy metal. Herein lies my confession:

1

KISS used to scare the bejesus out of me as a child. My brother and sister tried to make me watch the TV movie KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park, and I spent the entire time cowering in fear behind the couch.

2

At the age of 11, I somehow persuaded my mother to buy me a copy of Ozzy Osbourne’s The Ultimate Sin. But the cover art featuring Ozzy rendered as a winged creature and a demon babe scared me so much, I ended up dramatically hurling it away at a dumpster days later.

3

That said, the first metal album I ever bought with my own money was a copy of Rush’s Roll the Bones on cassette. You know, the one that has someone (gulp) rapping on the title track? As if that weren’t bad enough, I might still have it in a box somewhere.

4

It wasn’t until the year 2000 that I finally went to a bona fide metal show. And it was Ratt. Back when its singer was a dude who goes by the name Jizzy Pearl.

5

When I was a much younger and much less open-minded music writer, I snarkily dismissed Sleep’s epic album Jerusalem with this review: “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Just because a band can record and release a 52-minute-long song doesn’t mean they should.”


GO:The 2010 Fall Into Darkness Festival takes place at Berbati’s Pan, 231 SW Ankeny St., 248-4579. 8:30 pm Thursday-Sunday, Oct. 7-10. $25 for a four-day pass. Search “Fall Into Darkness Festival” on Facebook for a full lineup and individual show prices.

Headout Picks

WEDNESDAY OCT. 6


[MAKE IT WORK] PORTLAND FASHION WEEK
Stumptown gets fab with five days of catwalk-stalking, local-designer-pimpin’, eco-outfit-ogling madness. Vigor Industrial Shipyards, Swan Island, 5555 N Channel Ave. Wednesday-Sunday, Oct. 6-10. Individual show tickets $20-$35 advance, $25-$40 door. Whole-week pass $100. Info and schedule at portlandfashionweek.net.

[MUSIC] TOPE, BENOIT PIOULARD, PRESCRIPTION PILLS, ET AL.
Butter-smooth rapper Tope is the real deal, flowing over beats that dip into everything from old soul to modern space grooves. He heads up a super-eclectic lineup in honor of WW contributor and man-about-town Arya Imig’s birthday. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900, 8 pm. $5. All ages.

THURSDAY OCT. 7


[MUSIC] GUIDED BY VOICES, TIMES NEW VIKING
Robert Pollard reunites the “classic” Guided by Voices lineup that recorded 1994’s critical breakthrough, Bee Thousand. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0027. 8 pm. $27.50 advance, $30 day of show. 21+.

[HUMILIATION] MORTIFIED PDX
Your fellow Portlanders get up onstage to read their most embarrassing teenage letters, lyrics and diary entries. Also, Mortified creator Dave Nadelberg interviews Sam Adams. Bagdad Theater & Pub, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 236-9234. Doors at 7 pm; show at 8 pm. General admission $18; reserved $35. Tickets atgetmortified.com/live.

FRIDAY OCT. 8


[SCREEN] MONTY PYTHON’S LIFE OF BRIAN
The Portland Humanist Film Fest looks on the bright side with a screening of the irreligious classic, complete with a costume contest. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-8899. 7:30 pm. Free.

SATURDAY OCT. 9


[MUSIC] MARK SULTAN, PURE COUNTRY GOLD, BESTIES
Canadian garage-punk legend Mark Sultan plays gritty, whiskey-soaked R&B-infused rock, before New York DJ Jonathan Toubin hosts one of his famous Soul Clap dance parties. East End, 203 SE Grand Ave., 232-0056. 9 pm. $TK. 21+.

[BENEFIT] HERO/VILLAIN CEASEFIRE PARTY
The good, the bad and the tights-wearing denizens of the Alter Egos Society dance, drink and raise cash for homeless youth. Paradise Dance Studio, 826 SE Belmont St. 8 pm. $7 with costume, $10 no costume. Info at alteregossociety.com.

 
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