That's because the Creating Change Conference is coming to town. Well not to town, exactly. Because of space requirements, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force's 15th annual meeting of 3,000 politically active GLBT-ers is happening due north at the Jantzen Beach DoubleTree Hotel (see page 33 for details). That means conference-goers will spend most of their quality time on a strip-mall island that includes such unique sights as Toys 'R' Us, Target, Old Navy and a bunch of fast-food joints that have been the scene of some recent robberies.
How fun is that? And, despite the lack of sales tax, can't they get the rest of that in their own hometown?
Thankfully, I've been recruited by the Lesbian Community Project to help out on what they're calling "THE BIG QUEER PARTY BUS." The BQPB is actually four chartered buses filled with not only comfy seating and wheelchair access, but local queer pseudo-celebrities like myself acting as friendly tour guides. On Saturday night, starting at 7 pm, we'll take attendees on a continuous loop from Jantzen Beach to the center of the city. A fundraiser for LCP, the $5 to $10 pass will allow riders to get off and on at will. Tickets will be available for purchase on the bus at any stop, so locals can mix it up with the conferees as well.
Unfortunately, the bus will only stop at the doors of those who sponsored it. That means attendees will see all the regular queer haunts like Boxxes and the E-Club (although organizers have made an effort to include some "out there" places, such as a Methodist Church, a 'cue joint, a new lesbo coffeehouse and a bowling alley). It's too bad some of Portland's more illustrious queer hangouts won't be worthy of a pit stop.
If I had my way I would take attendees to the Jefferson Theater (1232 SW 12th Ave., 223-1846). One of the last true, blue porn theaters on the West Coast, the wacky whacking-off that goes on in this place is worthy of at least one water-cooler convo back in Philly.
After that, we would head someplace where the confab could load up on some strap-on tools--like Northeast Portland's Home Depot (11633 NE Glenn Widing Drive, 252-0188, and other locations). Good for gay gals and guys, I know: They're everywhere! But after 6 pm, this woody maker takes on a decidedly late-night plumbing vibe. And hammers aren't the only thing that takes a pounding here, if you know what I mean.
Enough about innuendo, let's eat. And, ladies, if you're going to load up on tofu, bean sprouts and hummus, then you're going to need to stop at the New Seasons Market (5320 NE 33rd Ave., 288-3838, and other locations). For the uninitiated lesbo, Portland is all about potlucks--if you don't have something to take to dinner, you might as well not come.
With a stop at any of these places (and maybe a dirty bookstore), you can truly say you've done P-town.
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