Buried in the lovely Clinton neighborhood is Dots Cafe, an eclectic and laid-back Southeast mainstay. Once you prove yourself worthy by locating the magical hidden front door, you face a series of delicious, calorie-laden choices. Bacon cheddar fries or Jack cheese green chili fries? The cheddar guacamole burger or Swiss patty melt? Vegetarians and vegans can choose between over a dozen veggie and at least five vegan options. Even the gender-neutral bathrooms keep you on your toes, respectively labeled "It," "Doesn't" and "Matter." It's not just the beer talking; any choice you make at Dots will be a good one. STACY BROWNHILL.
What to drink: Willamette Valley Martini (includes a "splash of organic apple-raspberry juice").
Happy hour: $1.50 PBR, $3.50 microbrews, $5.50 food 4-6:30 pm weekdays.
Entertainment: Pool, fantastically kitschy paintings and red velvet decor.