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February 2nd, 2011 12:44 pm CASEY JARMAN | Headout

So This Is The New Year?

Celebrate the dawn of 2011...again.

headout_37.13ILLUSTRATION: Keith Warren Greiman

So, it’s one month into 2011 and you’ve already broken your New Year’s resolution. You’re smoking again; driving to work when you should be biking; losing patience with family members; watching the Blazers instead of going to the gym. Shame on you, human trash—this was supposed to be the year you got your life together.

What if you had another shot at starting 2011 off right? What if you could do New Year’s Eve all over again—except better, with Champagne countdowns every hour instead of one lame countdown at midnight, and at Portland’s last great D.I.Y. basement club instead of some douchey ’80s night? 

All this can be yours this Friday, Feb. 4, when Artistery (a club that is, sadly, slated to close in March) presents Re-New Year, a New Year’s Eve/Prom-themed dance party. Can’t you see, you disgusting slob? This is what you’ve been waiting for! Unless you’re a creep, because, as the evening’s promotional material suggests, “Creeps will be asked to leave. Not kidding.” And really, who wants creeps creeping in on their 2011?

LIVE IT: The Re-New Year’s Prom takes place at Artistery, 4315 SE Division St., 803-5942. 8 pm Friday, Feb. 4. Music by DJ Bill Portland. Free ($3+ donation gets you prom pictures). All ages.

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