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Locker-Room Etiquette You've indulged yourself on the fatted calf of winter once again. It's time to get yourself back on track--or on the treadmill. That's why


sent its very own Nate Berne out to pump the pavement (and some iron) in search of fitness clubs that would lift not only your flabby ass off the ground, but also your spirits. Here's his sweat-dripping report.

110 SW Yamhill St., 223-0088, and other locations,
5 am-10 pm Monday-Thursday, 5 am-9 pm Friday, 7 am-7 pm Saturday-Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $250. Monthly: $46, other rates available. Personal training: varies with membership.

Classes: Step, Powerflex, Lifeforce, Step & Sculpt, Powerball, Boot Camp, Abs/Back, yoga, Kwando drill, stretch & relaxation, Pilates, spinning.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights, weight machines. Depending on location: women's-only gym, LifeForce, cardiac rehab, sports medical/PT clinic, health lab, tanning, massage, soccer, racquetball, basketball, pool, hot tub, steam room, sauna, pro shop, child care, Fun Fit classes.

This place has all the high-tech iron pumping your cardio system can handle. Sweat, stretch, snooze in the corner--do whatever comes naturally at a variety of specialized locations catering to a laid-back crowd. Despite its pretty standard set of amenities, Bally's has more heart than the average fitness factory.

19201 SE Division St., Gresham, 665-4142, and other locations,
5 am-11 pm Monday-Friday, 7 am-8 pm Saturday-Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $180. Monthly: $57, with optional rates available. Personal training: $28 per half-hour, $48 per hour.

Classes: BodyPump, BodyAttack, BodySmith, cycle Reebok, BodyStep, H2O fitness, Tai Chi, ab lab, BodyFlow, Pilates, senior strength, H2O exercise, line dancing, silver sneakers, muscular strength, cycle & strength, aerobics, yoga, water volleyball, nutritional analysis.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights, weight machines, treadmills, rowers, steppers, Lifecycles, recumbent bikes, ellipticals, NordicTracks, indoor/outdoor pools, whirlpool, steam, snack bar, BBQ, sauna, indoor track, massage, physical therapy, pro shop, tanning, hair/nails, wallyball, ballet, racquetball, tennis, basketball, volleyball, health clinics, ski conditioning, outdoor clubs, kid club, child care, holiday carnivals, dance sports leagues, karate, CPR classes, nutrition/body analysis.

Is there nothing Cascade can't do? With a massive fitness room and every social or fitness function you could ask for, this 25-years-strong establishment remains welcoming and accommodating for families, kids, teens and seniors. From the tennis lounge to the super-clean showers, it's a true community center.

18120 SW Lower Boones Ferry Road, Tigard, 968-4500,
5 am-11 pm Monday-Friday, 6 am-10 pm Saturday, 7 am-10 pm Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $400. Monthly: $78, additional rates available.

Classes: Personal training: $47 per hour, group and series rates available.

Programs and Facilities: Swim, climbing, racquetball/handball/ squash, Pilates, nutrition, step, dance, kickboxing, stretch, physio ball, yoga, cycle, BodyPump, adventure training, BodyAttack, 4ever Young, cardiac, Winterfit, strength conditioning, RPM, NIA.

Free weights, weight machines, StairMasters, step mills, ellipticals, Lifecycle, rower, treadmills, VersaClimber, incline trainer, climbing wall, basketball, volleyball, racquetball, handball, squash, child care, camps, clinics, pool, water slide, cabana area, restaurant, sports bar, conference room, family-night buffets, holiday specials, massage, physical therapy, chiropractic, cardiac rehab, team building, men's executive locker room, wellness lectures, crafts.

HUGE! A mega-hit with active families, this has one of the best darn kids' programs in the city. This community rallying point sports a massive complex of hardwood gyms, the coolest climbing wall in town, and some ultra-preppy locker rooms. Carefree families can sweat it out on the courts or lounge around with friends and neighbors, and the positive 'tude here is downright contagious.

5223 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4776. All day, every day, 24/7.

Fees: Initial: none. Monthly: $29.

Classes: Personal training: $30 monthly.

Programs and Facilities: Personal training only.

Free weights, weight machines, Lifecycle, Climbmax steps, treadmills, elliptical, rowers, dial resistance, tanning.

Dig that giant, well-endowed golden statue in the middle of the weight room. No frills and no bull at this cramped but never crowded neighborhood gym. The equipment works fine, the staff's in high spirits, and the price is right (but hold your nose in those showers).

23500 SE Stark St., Gresham, 667-2290,
Open 24 hours Monday-Friday, 7 am-7 pm Saturday-Sunday (opens 4:45 am Monday, closes midnight Friday).

Fees: Initial: none. Monthly: $39.50, additional rates available.

Classes: Personal training: $49, additional rates available.

Programs and Facilities: BodyPump, BodyAttack, yoga, cycling, Forever Fit, Step N' Drills, Abs/Pilates, Yo-Laties, short circuit, ab lab, cardio box, yoga, step 'n' abs, water power.

Weight machines, Butt Blasters, treadmills, StairMasters, StepMills, aerobicycles, recumbents, rowers, transports, VersaClimbers, EFX's, indoor pool, whirlpool, steam, sauna, nutrition programs, child care, tanning, whirlpool, steam, sauna, massage, pro shop, juice bar.

So many specialized rooms, so little time. A combo of old-school laid-back-ness and modern tenacity, and some of the nicest buff guys in town train here. A few too many doorways, but rugged and professional enough to help you crank it up a notch.

5623 SE Center St., 775-6399, and other locations. 6 am-10 pm Monday-Friday, 10 am-8 pm Saturday, 10 am-6 pm Sunday.

Fees: Initial: none. Monthly: $25.

Classes: Personal training: $35 per session.

Programs and Facilities: Cardio kickboxing, yoga, Pilates.

Free weights, weight machines, treadmills, elliptical, stair-steppers, rowers,

No nonsense or bull, just active folks pumping iron and pounding the weight rack. Back with its original owner, this gym sports nicely weathered spaces and neighborhood simplicity with an infectious energy. Best name yet.

815 NE Halsey St., 287-4594, 5 am-10 pm Monday-Friday, 7 am-7 pm Saturday-Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $100, additional rates available. Monthly: $53, additional rates available. Personal training: $40-$65 depending on program.

Classes: The Lift, Cardio Challenge, step aerobics, yoga, cardioboxing, cardio kickboxing, power step, strength & conditioning, stretching, yoga in movement, Silver Sneakers, Pilates, gentle yoga, Tai Chi, NIA.

Programs and Facilities: Olympic free weights, weight machines, semi-recumbent cycles, cycles, treadmills, stairclimbers, rowers, fitness evaluation, deli, beer and wine, steam, spa, sauna, whirlpool, pro shop, massage therapy, tanning, racquetball, squash, basketball, wallyball, golf tournaments, tennis, corporate programs, swimming, nutrition, childcare, junior/kids programs.

What's with that lame little fireplace in the lobby? Goofy comforts aside, this cozy urban getaway lets you grind the gears with a loose, friendly ease. The design is awfully smooth for the lack of space, and the clientele calm and kind both on and off the courts.

2414 SE 41st Ave., 232-8311. 5 am-10 pm Monday-Friday, 7:30 am-5 pm Saturday, 8 am-5 pm Sunday.

Fees: Initial: none. Monthly: ranging from $40 per month to $325 per year. Personal training: averages $30.

Classes: Step aerobics, yoga, stretch/abs/lower back.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights (more than anyone else in town), weight machines, treadmills, ellipticals, rowers, stair-stepper, Lifecycles, steam, sauna, outdoor pool.

Screw pretensions, ye who enter here. Big Bob watches over this old-school streetcorner gym and offers all the basics, with old but sturdy equipment and a tough but slow-moving atmosphere. Could use some more lights and windows, but folks of all shapes and sizes seem welcome.

2025 NW Overton St., 228-2626, 5:30 am-10 pm Monday-Thursday, 5:30 am-9 pm Friday, 7 am-7 pm Saturday-Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $20.03. Monthly: $39; $59 including yoga. Personal training: one free with membership, varies with program.

Classes: Pilates, hot yoga, ashtanga, power yoga, silvananda yoga, NIA, spinning, power spin, boxing, weight training, power and strength, fierce/cardio-kickboxing, kickboxing, Ab lab, funk/hip-hop, Cardio Striptease.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights, weight machines, Precor elliptical, treadmills, recumbent cycles, stair steppers, punching bag studio, hot yoga studio, cycles, massage, special yoga workshops, pro shop, cafe, juice bar; associated with Pearl Pharmacy for clinical therapy, counseling and medical advice.

It's slick as a baby-oil rubdown, with the most intense, accommodating personal trainers in town. Already a hit with some local celebs (the club does the name-dropping itself). Stocked with fit, swell-looking mature folks and iron determination.

614 SW 11th Ave., 222-2639, and other locations. 5 am-10 pm Monday-Friday, 7 am-7 pm Saturday-Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $65. Monthly: $41.

Classes: Personal training: $22.50-$35 per session, long-term rates available.

Programs and Facilities: Strength training, yoga, kickboxing, spinning, NIA, Step, Aquacise.

Free weights, weight machines, indoor running track, lap pool, hot tubs, steam room, sauna, treadmill, stationary bikes, stair-steppers, StairClimb, ellipticals, rowers, skiers, fat loss, spine care, osteoporosis, nutrition.

Yes, I am a hamster. Well-polished underground facility thrice the size of a football field, but all that bland roominess makes for a claustrophobic hive of urbania. "Adults only" aura and helpful staff smacks of busy efficiency, especially if you like staring at the wall while you tread.

4925 SW Griffith Drive, Beaverton, 644-3900. 5 am-11 pm Monday-Thursday, 5 am-10 pm Friday, 7:30 am-8 pm Saturday-Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $200, additional rates available. Monthly: $52, additional rates available. Personal training: $399 for eight sessions.

Classes: BodyPump, BodyFlow, BodyStep, BodyAttack, Silver Sneakers, step sculpt, Gut/butts, senior circuit, Pilates, yoga, Forever Fit, cycling, Silver Splash, aqua.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights, weight machines, treadmill, Lifecycles, recumbents, StairMaster, ellipticals, rowers, indoor pool, racquetball, nutrition, childcare, snack bar, beer bar.

A health club that serves beer? Well, you might as well break even by drinkin' up after your workout at this spendy club. This place is small but stocked with an abundance of class, space and racquetball. Never crowded, it serves a select but friendly crowd. A well-kept secret.

2714 NE Broadway, 287-0655. 5:15 am-9:30 pm Monday-Friday, 6:45 am-6 pm Saturday.

Initial: varies with membership type.

Fees: Monthly: $49. Personal training: $40 per hour, multiple-session rates available.

Classes: Yoga, step, light step, wake-up yoga, circuit training, cardio pump, dance, NIA, mat Pilates.

Programs and Facilities: Training weights, treadmills, bikes, elliptical, weight management, child care, Pilates, skincare, massage, day spa, sauna, aroma-light therapy.

NO BOYS ALLOWED! Women of all fitness levels enjoy a neat-'n'-tidy, fully equipped facility. High-class locker room features a waterfall/fountain and soothing eucalyptus aromas. Colorful and fun, yes, but also professional and complete.

0150 SW Montgomery St., 221-1212. 4:30 am-10 pm Monday-Friday, 7 am-8 pm Saturday, 8 am-8 pm Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $675. Monthly: $91, additional rates available. Personal training: $25 per half-hour, additional rates available.

Classes: Weight and circuit training, American Red Cross, clinics, cardiac rehab, osteoporosis, Pilates, karate, low-impact aerobics, 20 /20/20, abs, step, yoga, adventure, body pump, cardio kickboxing, cycling, spinning, dance.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights, weight machines, basketball, squash, pool, swimming lessons and competitions, child care, conference room, cafe, catering services, massage, chiropractic, dry cleaning, tanning and nails, cosmetologists, physical therapy, rowing center, nutrition, hydrostatic weighing, flowers.

International-space-station design beams you up for some high-class equipment. With all the basic amenities, this place is also stocked with style and opulence. Deep-pocketed professionals set the locker-room attitude, but groove on that comfy lounge and country-club-caliber cafe. Wide-smiling staff is one of the best in town.

4815 NE Fremont, 493-2413,

5:15 am-8 pm daily, training and rented space by appointment.

Fees: Initial: none. Monthly: $48-$68.50, depending on program. Personal training: $40-$60 per hour.

Classes: Pre- and post-natal fitness, hatha yoga, group training, circuit training, Chi Kung, sports conditioning.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights, stability balls, medicine balls, treadmills, stationary bikes, stair-steppers, massage therapy, monthly workshops and field events, classroom space for rent

Get personal and get fit with intimate facility's focus on spiritual and physical growth. Reputation for training long-distance cyclists, and ideal for all who want to get a kick out of life. In your face, apathy!

1407 SW 4th Ave., 224-2233, and other locations, Most locations open 24/7.

Fees: Initial: $256, additional rates available. Monthly: $39. Personal training: minimum $45, varies with insurance and membership type.

Classes: Rep Reebok, cycling, yoga, Turbo kick box, LegXpress, CardioXpress, StepXpress, AbXpress, BodyXpress, 24 Step, aqua, PiYo, 24 Cycle, 24 Combo, step, step & sculpt, Maturity 'n Motion, funk, hip-hop, 24 Splash.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights, weight machines, StairMaster, treadmill, bikes, some locations with basketball, indoor and outdoor volleyball courts, raquetball, squash, pool, tanning, sauna, steam rooms, whirlpool spa, pro shop, juice bar, restaurant, child care.

Row upon row of cardio equipment, and you gotta love the color-coded weight machines for the flabby illiterate. So hip it hurts, this ever-expanding fitness giant buses those clients in and out like cattle, and even the locker room is all fuss and business.

4949 SW Landing Drive, 225-1068. 5 am-9:30 pm Monday-Friday, 7 am-6 pm Saturday, 8 am-6 pm Sunday.

Fees: Initial: $288. Monthly: $99, additional rates available. Personal training: independent contractors.

Classes: Yoga, Pilates, ball classes, self-defense, abs, kickboxing, cycloing, circuit training, Falon Gong, W.E.T., aqua fit.

Programs and Facilities: Free weights, weight machines, NordicTracks, rowers, StairMasters, treadmills, ellipticals, Lifecycles, Step Mill 7000, basketball, racquetball, handball, volleyball, soccer, indoor pool, indoor track, restaurant, conference rooms, tanning, Jacuzzi, sauna, steam, massage, co-ed or separate men's and women's exercise areas.

Upscale and private--they even wash your sweaty underwear here--this classy club features a big-screen TV and full lounge in each locker room. A super-social gym with friendly if somewhat sectionalized aura.