My sperm torpedoes will rip Portland’s fault lines.
By destroying infrastructure
I will indelicately stretch City Hall’s corrupt intestine; politicians will howl.
My metal ass will sit on Portland until Portland is no more.
By my very name
I will volumetrically utter “Killbot” at a black harmonic juncture, causing cognitive estrangement (irreparable).
The old-fashioned way
I will replace all known human flesh with my boot.
SEE IT: Killbot, a 9-foot killer robot imported from the Bay Area, will emcee this year’s Metalhaus showcase Saturday, March 19, at the Wonder Ballroom. See Saturday listing for details. 9 pm. $7. 21+.