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April 2nd, 2003 | Music Stories
 

Music & Nightlife

     
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Black Heart Procession vs. AFI
SCIENTIFIC COMPARISON
Are We Goth or Not?
Black Heart Procession vs. AFI: Who's the gloomiest?

Black Heart Procession's morose heartbreak made them doomy art-rock darlings--this week, they should jam the Aladdin. AFI took melodic East Bay punk and stirred in black vampire mascara and very scary keyboards on the way to cross-demographic success--coming to the Roseland this week. But which of these angst-slingers is MORE GOTH? To discover, we measured both on the Universal Goth Scale (2 points available in each category; a total of 10 = Edgar Allan Poe, 1 = Eddie Munster).

BLACK HEART PROCESSION

The Band: A multi-instrumental ensemble heavy on keyboards and "atmosphere." One member, the highly goth-named Dimitri Dziensuwski, is credited only with "touring augmentation and moustache."

GOTH SCORE: A FULL 2 POINTS!

Gimmick: Early albums were depressing to a death-defying degree; the latest will reportedly be the basis for a murder-mystery DVD.

GOTH SCORE: 1.5 POINTS

PENALTY FOR BEING FROM CALIFORNIA: 1 POINT

The Album: Last October's Amore del Tropico is a mesermizing concept album (see murder-mystery DVD, above), adding sultry Latinesque moves to the band's melancholia.

GOTH SCORE: 1 POINT

Lyrical Tidbit: "Every day goes by and every night the same/ I sit and think of how I'm so much further away from you/ Every time I wake, I'll slowly mark the day/ 'Cause this life has taken me so much further away from you." ("The Old Kind of Summer")

GOTH SCORE: A FULL 2 POINTS!

Goofiness Bonus Round: One member spells his first name "Pall."

BONUS: 1 OUT OF A POSSIBLE 2.

TOTAL GOTH SCORE: AN IMPRESSIVE 6.5 (= Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley)


AFI (A FIRE INSIDE)

The Band: A bunch of longtime East Bay punks who recently discovered that a dollop of theatrical makeup goes along way to getting a major-label deal.

GOTH SCORE: 1 POINT

Gimmick: Singalong choruses retained from punk-rock days + freaky FX and heavy-metal bombast, with song titles like "Miseria Contare" and "Girl's Not Grey."

GOTH SCORE: 1.5 POINTS

PENALTY FOR BEING FROM CALIFORNIA: 1 POINT

The Album: The brand-new Sing the Sorrow is an enhanced CD that unlocks a "secret" website. Our copy also came with a really cool sticker depicting black falling leaves.

GOTH SCORE: 1.5 POINTS

Lyrical Tidbit: "Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything/ Or were you sent to save me?/ I've thought too much, you won't find anything worthy of redeeming/ Yo he estado aqui muchas antes y regreso to break down..."

GOTH SCORE: KA-POW! A FULL 2 POINTS!

Goofiness Bonus Round: The band's official fan club is called "The Despair Faction."

BONUS: A FULL 2 POINTS!

TOTAL GOTH SCORE: AN ANGSTY 7 POINTS (= Peter Murphy's hair)

Decide for yourself: AFI plays a sold-out show Saturday, April 5, at Roseland, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. The Explosion and Bleeding Through also appear.

Black Heart Procession plays Tuesday, April 8, at the Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave, 233-1994. The Radar Brothers and Bartenders Bible also appear. 9 pm. $12. All ages.


EATING THAT LITTLE NANCY BOY NIC ROBERTSON FOR BREKI
HISS and VINEGAR

LIVE REVIEW: KID KOALA
Turntablist Kid Koala (a.k.a. Eric San) and friends performed the inaugural event at a revamped Medicine Hat (note the arty "installation bar" and unique beer tap) last Wednesday night. This candlelit, love-themed evening was part of a book tour for Nufonia Must Fall, San's "silent paperback film" about a lovestruck robot and his sweetheart, Mallory. Koala's training in early-childhood education was in full effect during his diverse presentation, which included slides from Nufonia with commentary, a Wurlitzer piano, four turntables and an intermission bingo game complete with prizes. For the most part, Nufonia's understated soundtrack music took a back seat to the night's spectacle, but highlights included a mock duel between the Kid and DJ-P Love (to Michael Jackson's "The Girl Is Mine") and a beautiful new routine featuring vocals from Blur's Damon Albarn, from Dan the Automator's upcoming album. --Emilie Raguso

WHO SAYS NO ONE REALLY WINS A WAR?
Thanks to all who answered last week's War + Music quiz, which came with a Shrub-esque 48-hour deadline. Everyone who answered all 12 questions correctly was entered in a drawing, conducted under the strict actuarial control of Kim Colton, Esq. And the winner of a lavish gift certificate to one of Portland's fine independent record stores is: one Mr. Patrick Foss, who just happens to play guitar and sing with fearsome local band The High & The Mighty. Olé, Patrick--you're as lucky as a strapping Canadian Quaker in a locker room full of horny peacenik co-eds. Here are the answers to last week's brainteasing puzzle:

1. What band inverted the geography of Erich Maria Remarque's famous World War I novel on a 1981 album?
A: The Ramones ("All Quiet on the Eastern Front," Pleasant Dreams)

2. Who fronted the British rock band Ugly Rumours?
A: None other than Bush
consigliere Tony Blair. Apparently he was quite the faux-Jagger
in his day.

3. What two intoxicants do the Beastie Boys urge Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush to share in the song "In a World Gone Mad"?
A: Cocaine and Courvoisier.

4. a) Who released the song "Singin' in Vietnam Talkin' Blues" in 1971?
A: Johnny Cash

4. b) According to the lyrics, what was the singer eating when he decided to go to the Orient, namely Saigon?
A: We were looking for country ham, though we also accepted the generic breakfast.

5. Who was originally a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way?
A: The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B

6. A 1917 hit urged protagonist Johnnie to show someone he was a "son of a gun." Who?
A: Proving that Clint Black did not invent opportunistic jingoism in popular music, the World War I fight song "Over There" referred to our German opponents as "the Hun."

7. a & b) What group noted, somewhat cryptically, that
"a system built by the sweat of
the many creates assassins to
kill off the few"?
A: That would be The Clash, from the non-hit "Guns on the Roof," from the album Give 'Em Enough Rope.

8. What stadium hit is set to the tune of "To Anacreon in Heaven"?
A: The Star-Spangled Banner.

9. What is the name of Trail Blazer Dale Davis' record company?
A: W.A.R. (World Ain't Right) Entertainment.

10. What is the name of the Iraqi pop star who toured the U.S. this February?
A: Kazem (or Kadem, depending on your transliteration preferences) al-Shahir.

 
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