There is a war on Easter. Sure, I could try to sugarcoat it—to disguise the truth in shiny tinfoil—but the truth is that Obama and his fellow socialists want everyone to think this is a holiday about sharing Cadbury eggs with the poor, or hanging on a cross for people who won't work for health care.
They want us to forget the true meaning of the sacred day—to make it cheap and secular, to forget "outdated" values. But I am not ashamed to be old-fashioned. I am not afraid to say that, however the world may mock and scoff, I testify that some things never change.
Easter is still the Easter Bunny's birthday.
That's why this Sunday, April 8, I will make my annual pilgrimage to Aloha in Washington County to visit the Shrine of Harvey—one of the only remaining Easter Bunny temples left in the country. There, I will meet with the faithful few who still remember.
People like Felicia, who isn't afraid to say, extremely loudly, that the gaze of True Living Rabbit healed her gout. People like Lawrence, who continues to sing the traditional bunny hymns—how my soul stirs when I hear his gurgling voice raised in a chorus of "Meet Me in the Middle of the Hare!"—no matter how many listeners have seizures. We do not care how the world may laugh. For we know we are loved by our lord and savior: a giant rabbit that lays eggs.
GO: The Shrine of Harvey is located outside Harvey Marine, 21250 SW Tualatin Valley Highway, Aloha. We will meet at dawn Sunday, April 8.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4
THURSDAY, APRIL 5
FRIDAY, APRIL 6
SATURDAY, APRIL 7
ALPENROSE EASTER EGG HUNT
[EASTER] Alpenrose Dairy has been hosting an Easter egg hunt every year since 1962. The hunting kicks off at 10:30 am for kids ages 3 to 5, then kids 6 to 8 get their turn at noon. The "grand prize" (Easter has a winner now?) will be 14 6-foot bunnies and 35 teddy bears. Alpenrose recommends bringing a picnic lunch to enjoy, while your offspring smear chocolate on their faces. Alpenrose Dairy , 6149 SW Shattuck Road. 10:30 am. Free. This event has been cancelled.