WHY CAN’T THIS BE LOVE: Last week, someone dropped what we thought was a box of Voodoo Doughnuts at the WW
office. Naturally, it sat for a few hours before anyone opened it. But
in the box was something special: a gigantic doughnut emblazoned with
the Van Halen logo. At first this made us Jump, because you just Can’t
Get This Stuff No More (unless you import it from Panama). We reached
down between our legs and eased the seat back only to find it tasted
kind of like Poundcake. No, we Ain’t Talkin’ ’Bout Love here—the
doughnut didn’t exactly make us want to Dance the Night Away. But we’re
still pretty excited about Van Halen hitting the Rose Garden in August.
AS THE BAGEL TURNS:In other round-bread news, fallout from theKettleman Bagel selloutcontinues, with news that Kenny & Zuke’s will fill a big hole
(geddit?) in the local market as the new bagel supplier to Portland
Whole Foods markets. That’s a huge increase in production for the West
End deli. Can it maintain the quality? In possibly related news, Michael Madigan’s upcoming Bowery Bagels
will now be supplying Stumptown shelves—which have until now stocked
Kenny & Zuke’s. We also notice Kenny & Zuke’s has switched from
Stumptown coffee to Ristretto Roasters. Coincidence? Bad blood? No word
back as of press time.
We’ve seen some truly terrible Portland food cart ideas, but this one
is spectacularly bad: William Steuernagel is looking to raise $2,500 on
Kickstarter for his new business Cheese & Crack: “a cheese,
crackers, and charcuterie food cart.” Yes, he’s going to put cheese and
crackers in a box. So, basically, artisan Lunchables. The crackers will
at least be made from scratch. Everything else will be “sourced.”
Steuernagel hopes to open up at downtown’s Southwest 9th Avenue and
Alder Street pod. Incidentally, we think a cart that actually sold crack
would be a big hit downtown.
ODD COUPLE: Sterling
Coffee Roasters and M Bar are about to become roommates. Although
details are still being sorted, Sterling co-owner Aric Miller says the
plan is for the local microroaster to operate out of the bar’s building
on Northwest 21st Avenue during the day, then switch back into a bar at
night. It’d be one of the only spaces of its kind in Portland. Once
confirmed, the transition would occur “within a month,” Miller says.
Three Portland bands of note have recently wrapped up recording new
albums. Menomenais making its first record without
singer/multi-instrumentalist Brent Knopf and planning a very special
listening party for the new release. Wild Ones made last year’s Best New
Band list and has been blowing our minds in concert ever since. TxE,
the hip-hop trio, has been collecting samples from Portland bands
(including And And And, Starfucker and Nurses) to use as the backbone of
its next album.