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June 20th, 2012 CASEY JARMAN | Headout
 

Headout: “Nickelback” is Fun to Say

And 12 other compliments for the Canadian rock band you love to hate.

headout_nickelback_3833NICKBACK - IMAGE: Travis Shinn
13. Nickelback knows how to make friends.
Recent corporate tie-ins include a deal with the NHL and a “Blackjack with Nickelback” contest with Clear Channel.

12. Nickelback didn’t mastermind 9/11. 
This we know from solid forensic evidence.

11. Frontman Chad Kroeger’s teeth are nice.
Maybe a little too nice....

10. I would also like “a bathroom I can play baseball in.” 
That’s a pretty cool lyric, Chad.

9. “When We Stand Together” has a positive message about feeding the hungry and such.
The details—“Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah”—are a bit sketchy.

8. I like the guitar tones on “Burn it to the Ground.”
No, really, it sounds cool.

7. Nickelback knows how to handle rejection.
After being pelted with rocks in Portugal, the band just stopped playing and flipped off the crowd. Which makes Nickelback more even-tempered than Metta World Peace, who started a riot in Detroit after being pelted with a cup of water.

6. Chad Kroeger’s hair is very versatile.
Far more than his singing or guitar playing.

5. Nickelback brings U.S. culture to its native Canada.
A culture of chugging energy drinks and driving way too fast in shitty old trucks.

4. Nickelback sounds less like a Bush cover band than it did on The State.
I’m actually not sure if that’s a nice thing to say.

3. No one details the psychopath-dating-a-stripper dynamic better.
“I’m hating what she’s wearing/ Everybody here keeps staring/ Can’t wait till they get what they deserve/ This time somebody’s getting hurt.”

2. The word “Nickelback” is fun to say.
Even more fun when you put the word “sucks” after it.

1. Nickelback unites us.
No matter the forces that try to divide us, all reasonable people can agree that Nickelback sucks. 

SEE IT: Nickelback plays the Rose Garden on Thursday, June 21. 6 pm. $39.50-$79. All ages.


Headout Picks

WEDNESDAY JUNE 20

PEDALPALOOZA
[BIKES] Riding events stay weird through the end of June. This week, Portland’s MILFs, wizards, robots, skeptics and (scariest of all) lawyers take to the streets. Various locations. Free. Calendar at bit.ly/L0vW10.


FRIDAY JUNE 22

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER
[MOVIES] It’s Abraham Lincoln. Killing vampires. Need we say more? Multiple theaters.

MARK GARDENER
[MUSIC] Mark Gardener has no new album, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been busy. The 42-year-old former member of shoegaze dynamo Ride spends most of his days producing U.K. bands. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $10. 21+.


SATURDAY JUNE 23

NW CIDER SUMMIT
[DRINK] Portland’s cider festival is back for a second year. More than 50 ciders from Oregon, Washington, British Columbia, California, England, France and Spain will be available to taste, plus food from Lebanese restaurant Ya Hala, live music and cider-pressing demonstrations. Elizabeth Caruthers Park, 3508 SW Moody. cidersummitnw.com. 11 am-7 pm. $20-$25. 

DR. SEUSS
[PERFORMANCE] Bringing Dr. Seuss off the page and onto the stage, AMP Theater will present four classics—The Cat in the Hat, Fox in Socks, Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose and Horton Hears a Who!—through music, acrobatics and other theatrics. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 206-7630, amptheater.com. 5 pm (all ages) and 9:30 pm (21+) Saturday, 7:30 pm (all ages) Sunday, June 23-24. $15 advance, $20 at the door.

PALINDROMANIA
[AINAMORDNILAP] Never odd or even, the Peculiarium is where the world’s reigning palindrome champion Mark Saltveit performs his palindrome slam. Competing in Brooklyn against six other palindromists, Saltveit earned his title with this winner: “Devil Kay fixes trapeze part; sex if yak lived.” Peculiarium, 2234 NW Thurman St., peculiarium.com. 7 pm. $7.


MONDAY JUNE 25

LAURA MARLING
[MUSIC] Marling introduced herself to the nu-folk community when she was 16, performing with the once-ubiquitous Noah and the Whale. Her new album, A Creature I Don’t Know, shows more than a hint of Joni Mitchell’s sweet poetics. It’s also fantastic. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. 8 pm. $20-$22. All ages (minors must be accompanied by a parent or guardian).
 
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