13. Nickelback knows how to make friends.
Recent corporate tie-ins include a deal with the NHL and a "Blackjack with Nickelback" contest with Clear Channel.
12. Nickelback didnât mastermind 9/11.
This we know from solid forensic evidence.
11. Frontman Chad Kroegerâs teeth are nice.
10. I would also like âa bath
room I can play baseball in.â
That's a pretty cool lyric, Chad.
9. âWhen We Stand Togetherâ has a positive message about feeding the hungry and such.
The details—"Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"—are a bit sketchy.
8. I like the guitar tones on âBurn it to the Ground.â
No, really, it sounds cool.
7. Nickelback knows how to handle rejection.
After being pelted with rocks in Portugal, the band just stopped playing and flipped off the crowd. Which makes Nickelback more even-tempered than Metta World Peace, who started a riot in Detroit after being pelted with a cup of water.
6. Chad Kroegerâs hair is very versatile.
Far more than his singing or guitar playing.
5. Nickelback brings U.S. culture to its native Canada.
A culture of chugging energy drinks and driving way too fast in shitty old trucks.
4. Nickelback sounds less like a Bush cover band than it did on The State.
I'm actually not sure if that's a nice thing to say.
3. No one details the psychopath-dating-a-stripper dynamic better.
"I'm hating what she's wearing/ Everybody here keeps staring/ Can't wait till they get what they deserve/ This time somebody's getting hurt."
2. The word âNickelbackâ is fun to say.
Even more fun when you put the word "sucks" after it.
No matter the forces that try to divide us, all reasonable people can agree that Nickelback sucks.
SEE IT: Nickelback plays the Rose Garden on Thursday, June 21. 6 pm. $39.50-$79. All ages.
[BIKES] Riding events stay weird through the end of June. This week, Portlandâs MILFs, wizards, robots, skeptics and (scariest of all) lawyers take to the streets. Various locations. Free. Calendar at bit.ly/L0vW10.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER
[MOVIES] Itâs Abraham Lincoln. Killing vampires. Need we say more? Multiple theaters.
[MUSIC] Mark Gardener has no new album, but that doesnât mean he hasnât been busy. The 42-year-old former member of shoegaze dynamo Ride spends most of his days producing U.K. bands. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $10. 21+. [DRINK] Portlandâs cider festival is back for a second year. More than 50 ciders from Oregon, Washington, British Columbia, California, England, France and Spain will be available to taste, plus food from Lebanese restaurant Ya Hala, live music and cider-pressing demonstrations. Elizabeth Caruthers Park, 3508 SW Moody. cidersummitnw.com. 11 am-7 pm. $20-$25. [PERFORMANCE] Bringing Dr. Seuss off the page and onto the stage, AMP Theater will present four classicsâThe Cat in the Hat, Fox in Socks, Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose and Horton Hears a Who!âthrough music, acrobatics and other theatrics. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 206-7630, amptheater.com. 5 pm (all ages) and 9:30 pm (21+) Saturday, 7:30 pm (all ages) Sunday, June 23-24. $15 advance, $20 at the door. [AINAMORDNILAP] Never odd or even, the Peculiarium is where the worldâs reigning palindrome champion Mark Saltveit performs his palindrome slam. Competing in Brooklyn against six other palindromists, Saltveit earned his title with this winner: âDevil Kay fixes trapeze part; sex if yak lived.â Peculiarium, 2234 NW Thurman St., peculiarium.com. 7 pm. $7. [MUSIC] Marling introduced herself to the nu-folk community when she was 16, performing with the once-ubiquitous Noah and the Whale. Her new album, A Creature I Donât Know, shows more than a hint of Joni Mitchellâs sweet poetics. Itâs also fantastic. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. 8 pm. $20-$22. All ages (minors must be accompanied by a parent or guardian).