It's getting to where donating money in the Portland mayoral race requires photo ID, an advanced math degree and a healthy sense of irony.

Last week, state Rep. Jefferson Smith (D-East Portland) announced contribution limits entirely different from those declared by former City Commissioner Charlie Hales.

The limits—self-imposed, self-serving and numbingly complex—are intended to prove the candidates' virtue. What they really prove is, candidates can claim they're limiting campaign cash and still leave the back window open for plenty of money to blow in.

So if all you want to do is sully the political process with your filthy cash but don't know the new rules of the road, we're here to help.