Maybe it's a worn-out observation at this point, but it's impossible to talk about 1986's Labyrinth and not bring it up. So, I have to ask: What the hell is going on with David Bowie's dick? Seriously, as the tights-wearing, baby-snatching Goblin King Jareth, Bowie flaunts his package throughout Jim Henson's fantastical alleged kids movie more blatantly than Robert Plant in the '70s. It's not something any of us noticed back then, of course. But anyone who watches the film today comes to realize that the reason the movie so deeply disturbed an entire generation of children wasn't the creepy Muppets or even young Jennifer Connelly's eyebrows: It was the Thin White Duke's thin white duke being thrust in our faces for 100 frightening minutes.

  • Showing at: Bagdad (11 pm Saturday, Aug. 25).
  • Best paired with: Hammerhead.
  • Also screening: Safety Not Guaranteed (Laurelhurst, Academy).