Shock G's Top Five Places to Get Busy (Other than Burger King Bathrooms)

SHOCK-G (Humpty-Hump)

College campus piano practice rooms 

My girl and I used to tape a sheet of notebook paper over the little window on the door. When people walked by, I'd reach up with my free hand and bang a few random chords as a decoy.

Department store fitting rooms

Usually inspired by her asking my opinion of something she tried on, something so sexy I had to follow her back in.

Hotel stairwell during a crowded one-room afterparty 

These are especially exciting when everybody's so drunk and busy conversating they don't even notice us sneaking the comforter out of the room.

The early morning secret shower session 

The ones that happen during a sleepover in which the other guests must not know about the hook-up. These are electrifying!

The upstairs master bedroom walk-in closet during a house party 

The resident strange clothing all around us adds mystery and excitement, and if it happens to not have carpet, there's always a nice, long coat or two to make a bedding with. 

SEE IT: Digital Underground plays Thriller IV at Refuge, 116 SE Yamhill St., on Wednesday, Oct 31. 9 pm. $13 advance, $20 day of show, $75 VIP. 21+. 

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