Chocolate orange wine from Astoria's Shallon Winery is all about love. Octogenarian winemaker Paul van der Veldt opened his doors in 1980 and has single-handedly run the operation since. Van der Veldt specializes in sweet wines—peach, black raspberry and even a lemon meringue pie wine. There are no formal distribution channels, but van der Veldt ships mindfully wrapped vino packages complete with the wine's origin story and serving suggestions. For the chocolate orange, he says to pour it over ladyfingers, poached pears or "a friend." The concoction is less sweet than its backstory. The only Oregon-made chocolate wine has a chalky texture and acidic bite, partially mitigated by cute delivery when served as suggested in miniature ice-cream cones. It might be better as a sauce, but I would only pour it on a friend as cannibal deterrent in the unlikely event of a zombie apocalypse. That said, the thick, citrus alcohol does exactly capture its namesake. Six different chocolates (no fake flavoring here) fraternize with wine and a strong kick of orange rind. Van der Veldt's "labor of love" is a St. Valentine's story if we've ever heard one. Unfortunately, we're the third wheel. Not recommended.