Add a few animatronic pirates, and Lighthouse Inn (10808 NW Saint Helens Road, 240-8827) could pass for a Universal Studios theme ride. Each door—even in the restrooms, cutely marked "Gulls" and "Buoys"—has a porthole window, mermaid figurines dot the walls, and there's a coconut fashioned to look like a shrunken head. But there's also a friendly, below-deck familiarity to this Linnton neighborhood outpost, wedged between the Willamette and Forest Park, which allows it to steer clear of gimmickry. The bar, varnished to a high gleam, is strewn with freshwater fishing publications, and landlubbing patrons sip grog (bloody marys, $6, are a popular choice) and play shuffleboard as the jukebox flips between Maroon 5, classic country and "Footloose." Haven't found yer sea legs? Avoid the barstools, which swivel and keel in all directions. Avast, me bucko, you'll be loaded to the gunwales smartly.