Read this calendar and plan the best summer of your life.
See Weezer open a computer store
Rivers Cuomo is now an old creeper without a new record to promoteâthe bandâs latest new work was called Hurley and, as best we can recall, was named after a character on an old television program that prominently featured a coconut phoneâso the band is opening a computer store. Pioneer Place Mall, 700 SW 5th Ave. Free, but Microsoft expects people to start lining up Wednesday. Lay off the hops for an afternoon. Cider Summit PDX, Elizabeth Caruthers Park, 3508 SW Moody Ave., cidersummitnw.com. 3-8 pm. Continues June 22 from noon-8 pm. $25 advance, $30 at door. 21kknd.
Watch videos of cute cats on a big screen
The Internet Cat Video Fest is the Academy Awards of Internet cat videos. Who will take home a golden kitty? Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. The festival begins Friday, June 22, with showings both days at 7:30 pm and 9:30 pm. $10.
Bike and swim around town
This two-wheeled endeavor is part of Pedalpalooza. Riders bike 10 to 15 miles in their bathing suits to a total of three pools. Bring a bike lock and towel. Contact Maria Schur for more information at email@example.com or 516-3034. Water Avenue Coffee, 1028 SE Water Ave. 1:30-6:30 pm. $12 for pool admission.
Get your copy of Bad Monkey signed by Carl Hiaasen
A columnist and novelist known for blending dark humor into crime stories, Carl Hiaasen writes about greedy, corrupt people who get their comeuppance in Bad Monkey, which features a cop with a human arm in his freezer, a voodoo witch and, yes, a monkey of questionable moral fiber. Powellâs City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
Identify your spirit animal
Maybe your spirit animal is a penguin, maybe itâs something that eats penguins. Youâll learn at this class, which covers meditation and animal totems. Your guides will also help you learn to more fully appreciate the âhuman experience.â New Renaissance Bookstore, 1338 NW 23rd Ave., 224-4929. 7-9 pm. $10. All ages.
Watch out for bridges and hop-ons
Itâs no illusionâPortlanders are still celebrating the return of Arrested Development. Dress as your favorite character for this easy bike ride and then catch an episode or two of the show afterward. Frozen bananas provided. Oregon Park, Northeast Hoyt Street and 29th Avenue, shift2bikes.org. 8-10 pm. Free.
Yell âBanzai!â and chug sake
You drink the first bottle of sake, but later bottles of sake drink you, according to an old Japanese proverb. Test more than 80 samples of local and Japanese sake with food samples and pairing advice. Tickets grant access to all food and drink samples. The Governor Hotel Heritage Ballroom, 614 SW 11th Ave., 224-3400. 6:30-9 pm. $50 advance, $60 at door. 21kknd.
Save the planet, drink beer
Because the only thing Portland likes more than good beer is good environmental policy, the Organic Brewers Festival comes back for a ninth year. Clink environmentally responsible cups and drink to the festival that claims to "Save the planet, one beer at a time."
Overlook Park, 1599 N Fremont St., naobf.org. Noon-9 pm. Festival continues June 29 from noon-9 pm and noon-5 pm Sunday. 21kknd.
Sing âWagon Wheelâ with Old Crow Medicine Show at the Oregon Zoo
Rock me mama like a wagon wheel/Rock me mama anyway you feel/Heeeeeey, mama rock me. Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Road, zooconcerts.com. 7 pm. $32.50-$52.50.
Sip tea with Queen Elizabeth
stars Helen freaking Mirren as Queen freaking Elizabeth, and it's broadcast from London's West End. You have plenty of time to spend outside this summer; go indoors today.
Ask an astronaut about pooping in space at OMSIâs Science Pub
NASA astronaut Don Pettit gabs about life on the International Space Station. Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 236-9234. 7 pm. $5 suggested.
Pretend youâre a musician
It's what they call the ultimate "live band" experience, complete with pro gear, lights, sound and a catalog of more than 3,500 songs to choose from. It's more than just a step up from air guitar or belligerent Chopsticks karaoke.
Ground Kontrol, 511 NW Couch St., 796-9364. 9 pm. Every Tuesday. $1 to play, $1 per song request. 21kknd.
See some kids play the blues
Mavis Staples and Robert Plant top the bill, but itâs young guns like Blind Boy Paxton and his knack for that early 20th-century sound that reminds us why we have an entire festival revolving around the blues. Paxton is actually a blood relative of Robert Johnson. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 1020 SW Naito Parkway, 227-2681. 7:30 pm. Noon Wednesday-Sunday. $50 and up. All ages.
Go to Washington, buy fireworks, and set them off in Oregon
Fireworks are illegal in Oregon, but not across the river in Washington. For this reason, smuggling M-80s is an age-old tradition here. There are also sanctioned firework celebrations on the Willamette waterfront and at Oaks Park (7805 SE Oaks Park Way). America. Free. All day. Chelsea Lately has become the E! channelâs franchise, and comedian Fortune Feimster is a big reason why. The Los Angeles-based writer and semifinalist on Last Comic Standing is best known for her sketch comedy, but her improv and motivational speeches also showcase her skills. Expect to feel at home one minute and squirming the next. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 643-8669. 7:30 and 10 pm. $20-$25. 21kknd. For most of us finger-splitting Metallica covers on classical guitar is a novelty. Mexicoâs Rodrigo and Gabriela, former metalheads turned thunderous instrumental heavyweights, have made it their art. Known for their quick picking and lashing flamenco guitar, the husband-and-wife duoâs repertoire has become richer with each album release. McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, edgefieldconcerts.com. 6:30 pm. $39-$63.
Go ape over the original King Kong
Jack Black and Adrien Brody? Pssh. The original King Kongâstarring Fay Wray, Bruce Cabot, Robert Armstrong and a giant stop-motion animated monsterâopened 80 years ago to critical acclaim in New York City. The special effects werenât groundbreaking even then, but itâs a must-see. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. $6-8.
Enjoy the roses in full bloom
Originally designed as a safe haven for hybrid roses grown overseas during the Great War, the International Rose Test Garden houses more than 10,000 rose bushes spread across some 650 varieties. In late June and July, the flowers are in full bloom. International Rose Test Garden, 400 SW Kingston Ave. Open dawn to dusk. Free.
Try to convince some kids youâre the Crocodile Hunter
Come gawk at the Tolypeutes matacus, which the Aztecs called âazotochtli,â Americans call âarmadillosâ and Texans call âbreakfast.â Bring your TriMet voucher for an additional $1.50 off admission on this discount day. Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Road, 226-1561. 9 am-6 pm. $2.50-$4.
Draw on some whiskers for Cats
Andrew Lloyd Webberâs Broadway phenom, hopefully with lots of striped and furry spandex. Meow! Deb Fennell Auditorium, 9000 SW Durham Road, Tigard, 620-5262. 7:30 pm. Continues through July 21. $20-$37.
Portlandâs local unicycle club hosts a weekly polo game every Thursday of the month. They supply the equipment if you supply the unicycle. Alberta Park, 1905 NE Killingsworth St. 6:30 pm.
Gorge yourself on berries
Your chance to taste and buy as many berries as your cobbler-loving, pie-making, jam-covered little heart desires. Also look for marionberry barbecue sauce, loganberry liqueur and blueberry soda. Ecotrust Building, 721 NW 9th Ave., Suite 200, 227-6225. Noon-6 pm. Festival continues July 13 from 11 am-4:30 pm. All ages. Free.
Attend a giant block party
The Mississippi Street Fair has drawn 30,000 people, 200 vendors and 32 live bands between Fremont and Skidmore streets. Mississippi Street between Fremont and Skidmore streets, mississippiave.com. 9 am-10 pm. Free. All ages. The inventive and spunky Camille Cettina revives her solo show, in which she waxes rhapsodic about her unrequited literary crushes. Sure, Darcyâs a hunk, but itâs Cettina whoâs the real charmer. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 715-1114. 7:30 pm. $15. Although you could hit this tasteful golf centerâs full-sized course, we suggest taking the cheaper, easier 36-hole route. Have a few drinks and walk around wearing a polo. Keep an eye out for the water traps on hole 11âitâs a doozy. Eagleâs Landing, 10220 SE Causey Ave., Happy Valley. Open 9 am to dusk daily. $8 for 18 holes; $11 for 36 holes.
Learn how the bike evolved
Michael Embacher taps into his own extensive bike collection to showcase the evolution of bike design, with 40 bicycles ranging from mountain to single speed, tandem to urban.
Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-2811. 10 am-5 pm. $12-$15. Exhibit continues through Sept. 8.
Relive Sub Popâs second-bestselling album of all time
Ten years ago, the Postal Service was kind of a big deal. Death Cab for Cutieâs Ben Gibbard and Dntelâs Jimmy Tamborello released a single album before the project tapered off. Give Up, their collection of static-wash tunes, has appeared on television for everything from candy to shipping services that rival the actual U.S. Postal Service. Rose Garden, 1 N Center Court, Suite 150, 235-8771. 8 pm. $29.50-$44.50. All ages.
Enjoy an inexpensive music festival in North Plains
Camp in the woods, swig Wild Turkey from the bottle and complain about how pricey Pickathon has become before sets by Yonder Mountain String Band, Greensky Bluegrass, Shook Twins and Horse Feathers. Horningâs Hideout, 21277 NW Brunswick Canyon Road, North Plains, 647-2920. Thursday-Sunday. $135 and up. All ages. Itâs the 10th year of PDX Pop Now, and if youâre wondering whatâs going on with the local music scene, this is usually a safe place to find out. This yearâs lineup includes Ramona Falls, Pharcydeâs Slimkid3 and reigning Best New Band Shy Girls, as well as âRigsketball,â a basketball tournament where 32 bands compete around a hoop bolted to the back of a van. Refuge PDX, 116 SE Yamhill St., pdxpopnow.com. Festival continues through July 21. Free. All ages.
Lounge around on the shores of Faraday Lake while you wait for a trout to take the bait. An easy one-hour ride just south of Estacada, the 26-acre reservoir offers bank-only fishing. Follow Highway 224 one mile south of Estacada, watch for sign to parking lot.
Brave the brunch line at Screen Door
This will consume most of your day, and the meal will make you too hoggish to do anything afterward, anyway. Screen Door, 2337 E Burnside St., 542-0880. screendoorrestaurant.com. Brunch 9 am-2:30 pm.
Chalk up and dyno to new heights
Portland is not renowned for outdoor rock climbing. Luckily, we have several great gyms, including two locations of the Circuitâone in Southwest, the other in Northeastâwhich are among the largest indoor gyms in the country. Circuit Bouldering Gym, 410 NE 17th Ave., 719-7041. Open 7 am to 11 pm. $10-$12. All ages.
Check a book out of the library
The Oregon Brewers Festival is the granddaddy of 'em all, with everyone from 10 Barrel to Widmer pouring suds under the sun. The festival continues through the weekend, but show up early before douchebags drink all the good stuff.
Tom McCall Waterfront Park, oregonbrewfest.com. Festival continues through July 28. Noon-9 pm. Sunday, July 28, noon-7 pm. Free admission, $7 for a tasting cup, $1 per drink token. 21kknd.
Watch Petruchio woo Kate in The Taming of the Shrew
We know thereâs plenty of Shakespeare at the park, but Portland Shakespeare Project brings the Bard indoors for a production of the more than mildly misogynistic comedy. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 313-3048. 7:30 pm. Opens July 10, continues through Aug. 4. $20-$30.
See the theater of the future
Exciting in-progress works from playwrights across the country. This yearâs lineup is unusually dark, featuring plays about mass murder at an apartment complex, a fire that destroys a young artistâs work and cruel McDonaldâs managers. You get to fling comments at the playwrights afterward. Portland Center Stage, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. Free.
Freak out with the Flaming Lips
If you were only going to go to Edgefield once all summer, this would be the night. Musically, the Lips peaked 14 years ago with The Soft Bulletin, but their stage shows seem to grow consistently more grandly weird with every tour. Expect inflatable things, laser things, floaty things and joyful, life-affirming racket. McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 669-8610. 6:30 pm. $42-$43.
Float down the Willamette River on an inner tube
Starting at the Marquam Bridge and ending near the Hawthorne Bridge, this year is Portlandâs third annual Big Float. If you havenât yet taken a dip in the Willamette, now is a good time to do itâalong with 2,000 others. Once your fingers turn all pruny, a beach party awaits, with food and live music on a barge. thebigfloat.com. $7. What better way to cool down from the summer heat than with an ice slab, a disco ball and Top 40 hits? Lloyd Center, 2201 Lloyd Center, 288-6073, lloydcenterice.com. Times vary. $6.50 admission, $3.50 for skate rental.
See a 6,500-year-old corpse
The largest exhibit of mummies and mummy swag ever assembled for public viewing. OMSI, 1945 SW Water Ave., 797-4000. 9:30 am-7 pm. $13-$21.
Cheer for Portlandâs other professional soccer team
The Portland Thornsâ opening game against FC Kansas City in April drew nearly 17,000 adoring fansâthe largest crowd at any womenâs pro soccer game in more than a dozen years. The rivalry with tonightâs foe, New Jerseyâs Sky Blue FC, started early in the season. Jeld-Wen Field, 1844 SW Morrison St., 553-5400. 7:30 pm. $12 and up.
Haul to Hillsboro for some gender-bending Shakespeare
Bag & Baggage consistently stages some of the quirkiest Shakespeare in town. Last summer brought a kabuki version of Titus Andronicus, and now Scott Palmer directs an all-female production of Julius Caesar. Tom Hughes Civic Center Plaza, 150 E Main St., Hillsboro, 345-9590. 7:30 pm. $18. Through Aug. 17.
Pickathon is like the summer camp experience you never had. Amid the trees on Happy Valley's Pendarvis Farm, the three-day festival touts some serious indie firepower (Feist, Kurt Vile, Andrew Bird), but it's the smaller acts that make Pickathon a tour de force.
Pendarvis Farm, 16581 SE Hagen Road, Happy Valley. Through Sunday. $260. All ages.
See another shrew get tamed at Kiss Me, Kate
The Cole Porter classic in which a theater company rehearses a musical version of the Bardâs The Taming of the Shrew. Clackamas Community College, Osterman Theatre, 19600 S Molalla Ave., 594-6047. 7:30 pm. $15-20. Through Aug. 25.
Live long and prosper in the park
This is the final frontier for Trek in the Park, which stages Star Trek episodes with live actors in St. Johns. âThe Trouble With Tribblesâ finds the Enterprise overflowing with Furbies. Cathedral Park, North Edison Street and Pittsburg Avenue, atomic-arts.org. Continues Saturdays and Sundays in August. 5 pm.
Face your fears at Helium Comedy Clubâs amateur night
Portlandâs comedy scene is so bustling itâs tough to make it onstage. But if you want a three-minute shot at being at being the next Louis C.K., this is the place to do it. Show up extra early to perform. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9 Ave., 643-8669. Signups 7-8 pm, show starts at 8 pm. Free for performers, two-item minimum for nonperformers. 18kknd. Have you ever thought twice about your cereal bowl? No? The Portland Museum of Contemporary Craft presents a showcase of different kinds of bowls, from the functional to the decorative to inspire thought about simple, everyday objects. Portland Museum of Contemporary Craft, 724 NW Davis St., 223-2654. 11 am-6 pm. Through Sept. 21. $4.
Watch Zelig under the stars
Blending new footage with doctored newsreels from the 1920s and â30s, Woody Allenâs Zelig follows a character of the same name who becomes known as âthe human chameleonâ for his tendency to change his facial and vocal characteristics around different groups of people. Atop the Hotel deLuxe parking structure, Southwest 15th Avenue and Yamhill Street, 221-1156. 8 pm.
Taste samples from 120 restaurants
Bite of Oregon is a bit like Saturday at Costco—only these cups and skewers come from 120 local restaurants and food carts. Ticket prices haven't been announced yet, but it's cheaper than a $55 Costco membership.
Tom McCall Waterfront Park, biteoforegon.com. Festival continues through Aug. 11.
The hottest day ever recorded in Portland was Aug. 10, 1981. So this is exactly when you want to hit the beach.
Ride a bike across all of Portlandâs bridges
One day a year, bikes get exclusive use of Portlandâs bridges. If youâve ever wanted to pedal across the top deck of the Fremont Bridge, this is your chance. bridgepedal.com. 6:30 am. $30-$40 for adults. Teams of four or more get $7 off per person.
Watch some confused actors go crazy in Anonymous Theatre
Every year, a director casts and rehearses a show individually and in secrecy, with actors arriving to the performance in street clothes and only learning each otherâs identities once the first line is uttered from the house. This yearâs selection is Thornton Wilderâs allegorical The Skin of Our Teeth, which takes mankind through the Ice Age, visits from Moses and Homer, Noahâs flood and a crushing war. Portland Center Stage, 128 NW 11th Ave., 306-0870. 7 pm. $25.
Itâs like Costco, but it sells only booze. Be sure to show your Oregon ID to avoid sales tax. 4816 NE Thurston Way, Vancouver, 360-885-7583. 9 am-10 pm.
Make your best educated guess at OMSI trivia night
Whatâs the common name for NaCl? What politician recently announced heâs running for mayor of New York City? What are the names of the Mythbusters crew? Questions probably wonât be as easy as these, but if you know the answers you might stand a chance at OMSIâs trivia night. OMSI, 1945 SE Water Ave., 797-4000. 7-9 pm. Free. 21kknd.
Make up something on the spot at Curious Comedyâs Open Court
If we told you what to expect, then it wouldnât be real improv. Experience not required. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:15 pm. $5. All ages.
Sing along with Danny and Sandy in Pioneer Square
âSummer days drifting away/to, oh, oh, the summer nights.â Tell you more, did you say? Well, the 1978 classic Grease will play on a giant screen as everyone sings along. Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Ave. 7 pm. Free.
Watch adults race down Mount Tabor in a soap box
Adult men and women race intricately designed adult-sized soapbox cars down an adult-sized hill fueled by adult beverages. Mount Tabor Park, soapboxracer.com. 10 am-4 pm. All ages. Free.
Picnic at Laurelhurst Park
Take it easy today. Throw some food in a basket, grab a blanket, and park yourself in the sun at one of Portlandâs and oldest and grandest parks. Southeast Cesar E. Chavez Boulevard and Stark Street. 5 am-10:30 pm.
Step into the Rock Bottom limelight
Rock Bottom Brewery's open showcase is one of the best weekly open-mic nights around, featuring an artist spotlight and a lax competition where audience members vote for favorites. The showcase isn't terribly eclectic, but guitar-toting singer-songwriters will feel right at home.
Float down the Tualatin River
The lazy, picturesque rivers that flow down mountains to the Columbia and out to the Pacific make Portland a great place to kayak. You can rent a boat starting at $20 from Alder Creek rentals and paddle through gentle rapids to see the Tualatin River National Wildlife Refuge from Browns Ferry Park. Alder Creek Kayak & Canoe Rentals at Browns Ferry Park, 5855 SW Nyberg Lane, Tualatin.
Unknown here just five years ago, Portland now has some of the nation's best small-batch
ice cream. We suggest a double scoop from Lovely's Fifty-Fifty on Mississippi or Cool Moon across from Jamison Square
Festa Italiana is a celebration of Italian-American heritage, which includes a raffle, pasta, creepy marionettes and someone who mastered all 8,800 accordion chords. Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Ave., festa-italiana.org. 11 am-11 pm through Saturday. Free.
Cheer on runners from Hood to Coast
Hood to Coast, the largest relay race in the world, includes 1,050 teams of 12 runners each racing between Timberline Lodge and the beach in Seaside. Spectators can watch along the Springwater Corridor trail. hoodtocoast.com.
Eagle Creek is one of the most accessible and spectacular hikes in the Columbia River Gorge. The moderate-grade, rugged trail winds its way up a canyon, straddling sheer cliffs and waterfallsâbefore reaching wilderness at the 800-foot-elevation mark. Take exit 41 off Interstate 84. $5 recreation fee.
Support the Timbers from a bar
Itâs not a home game, but do you really need an excuse to drink and root against the Seattle Sounders on a Sunday afternoon? The Station, 2703 NE Alberta St., 284-4491. 7 pm. Free. Minors allowed until 9:30 pm. Swan Island Dahlias in Canby hosts an annual dahlia festival, opening up its fields and two indoor rooms to show off more than 400 different flower arrangements. Swan Island Dahlias, 995 NW 22nd Ave, Canby, 266-7711. Aug. 24-Sept. 2. 10 am-6 pm. Free.
Watch ballet for free in the park
Like an NFL training camp for dance, Oregon Ballet Theatre returns to Director Park for five days of public rehearsals for the fall season. Director Park, Southwest 9th Avenue and Yamhill Street, obt.org. Times vary. Free. The biannual Fade to Light event and runway presentation is an outlet for aspiring, local fashionistas to show off new apparel collections. DJ Gregarious provides music. Crystal Ballroom, 332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $10-$25. All ages.
Hula hoop at Colonel Summers Park
Itâs what all the cool kids are doing! Southeast 17th Avenue and Taylor Street.
Remind yourself why the original Shrek was awesome
Shrek the Third was terrible, but the original is now a classic. The movie starts at dusk, but show up early to catch River City Band and gorge on free popcorn. Alberta Park, Northeast 22nd Avenue and Killingsworth Street, 823-7529. 6:30 pm. Free. All ages.
Cop a feel at the drive-in
Things havenât changed much in Newberg since Happy Days. Get some sense of what life was like for the Greatest Generation as you watch a blockbuster in the comfort of your own car. 99W Drive-In, Highway 99W west of Springbrook Road, Newberg.
This is the last day before
Memorial Day Labor Day, the spiritual end of summer. Say goodbye with a final barbecue. 700 N Rosa Parks Way. 5 am-12 am. Fall begins with Portlandâs premier music festival, sponsored by this very paper. Headliners include Young the Giant, Animal Collective, and Neko Case. Shows continue through Sunday. mfnw.com.
Compiled by Kaitie Todd, Brandon Widder, Martin Cizmar, Rebecca Jacobson, Matthew Singer