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August 28th, 2013 MATTHEW SINGER | Headout
 

Headout: The Thin White Duke Vs. The Thin White Girl

Determining the future mojo of the Moda center.

headout_3943ILLUSTRATION: Maryanna Hoggatt

In 1995, the Rose Garden celebrated its opening with an inaugural concert by David Bowie, with Nine Inch Nails opening. Over the next 18 years, the arena enjoyed many more high-profile concerts, NCAA basketball games, bull-riding contests, several Disney on Ice shows and zero Blazers championships. 

Earlier this month, the Rose Garden changed its name to the Moda Center. Friday’s sold-out Taylor Swift concert is the Moda’s first show.

What does that mean for the stadium’s future? To determine who’s got the better mojo, we decided to do a side-by-side comparison of the Thin White Duke and the Alarmingly Thin White Girl. Based on the implication of these results, all we can say is: Enjoy the dynasty, Blazers fans!


Formative Musical Experience

Swift: Opening for Charlie Daniels at age 11.

Bowie: Playing ukulele in a skiffle group.

Winner: Swift.


Best Album

Swift: Fearless.

Bowie: A tossup between Space Oddity, The Man Who Sold the World, Hunky Dory, Ziggy Stardust, Young Americans, and Scary Monsters.

Winner: Swift.


First Boyfriend

Swift: Joe Jonas

Bowie: Mick Jagger

Winner: Bowie.


Questionable Actions

Swift: Dating John Mayer.

Bowie: Making pro-fascist statements during the Station to Station tour.

Winner: Swift.


Arch Enemy

Swift: Ex-boyfriend Harry Styles of One Direction.

Bowie: Fellow ’70s glam-rocker Marc Bolan.

Winner: Bowie.


Notable Acting Role

Swift: A ditzy Valley girl in Valentine’s Day.

Bowie: A somehow even more eccentric Andy Warhol in Basquiat. 

Winner: Bowie.


Alter Ego

Swift: T-Swizzle, who played with T-Pain for one night.

Bowie: Ziggy Stardust, who played guiiiiitarrrrrrr.

Winner: Swift. 

 
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