Inbox: Yogis Without Boundaries

I go to a lot of yoga, and have for about 20 years. It is a big part of my life. You may not know it, because I am not an amazingly flexible or fit individual, but I use yoga regularly to keep my body and mind fluid and basically pain-free. When I step away from my practice for too long, I find that specific areas of pain return and I am less able to move through my life—emotionally and physically.

Basically, I am a big fan of the philosophy and practice of yoga. However, I am not a big fan of an instructor—especially one who does not know me—coming up and putting their hands on me. This happens a lot and I just cannot figure out why so many instructors think this is OK.

Verbal cues are great—I love them, keep them coming! I did not, however, approve your touch or your energy coming onto my body directly in this way.

I know you may think your soothing voice in my ear and gentle yet firm touch are a bonus to my practice, but it is not. I stiffen. I almost always have an immediate somatic response that is negative, and my practice is interrupted completely. I know I am sensitive—I work as an acupuncturist and touch a lot of people every day. I am sensitive to the energies that are transmitted both with touch and just by simple proximity, and I don't come to yoga to touch more people.

I know I have work to do. I know this is my problem. I also know I am not the only one who feels this way. A yoga class is somewhere I should feel safe, not on guard.

So alas, I implore you, yogis of the world—who have no idea how many thousands of hours I have practiced and how many hundreds of teachers I have learned from—keep your freaking hands off my body! At least until we have established some kind of relationship. Seriously, do not assume that since I am in your class that I will take everything you say and internalize it, or that I am open to your every suggestion you make verbally or more aggressively with your hands.

I appreciate you and the valuable work you are doing—and often for far less money than you deserve. I value that you are cultivating your own practice and sharing that with the community around you, even with those like me who can't commit to a regularly scheduled practice and develop a real pupil-teacher relationship. I offer sincere thanks for that.

But be nice and ask first, and please stop driving me away from this beautiful practice with your hands-on approach.

—"Don't f-ing touch me without asking nicely, and even then I might say no."


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