DARKEST, COLDEST TIME OF YEAR COMEDY SPECTACULAR
[COMEDY] Oh look: Itâs all those Portland comics whoâve abandoned our rainy city for the Los Angeles sun. But really, weâre glad to welcome back these three comedians, including headliner Matt Braunger, a Portland native who co-founded the Bridgetown Comedy Festival and whose self-deprecating, frenetic style has served him well as a MADtv cast member and Chelsea Lately panelist. Braunger is joined by Ron Funches and Ian Karmel. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 8 pm. $10-$12. 21+.
[THEATER] Christopher Vened acted in Polandâs legendary Wroclaw Pantomime Theatre in the 1970s and early â80s, but he defected to the West after martial law was declared. Now based in Los Angeles, the 61-year-old brings his one-man show to the tiny CoHo Theater. Itâs a comedic blend of mime and words that asks big questions about big topics. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 800-838-3006. 7:30 pm. $17-$22.
TRAIL BLAZERS VS. MIAMI HEAT
[BASKETBALL] A velociraptor, a balding man-child and Gabrielle Union's boyfriend walk into the Moda Center. What happens? The biggest Blazers game of the year.
Moda Center, 1401 N Wheeler Ave., 235-8771. 7 pm. Sold out. Airing locally on KGW.
[MUSIC] The Seattle one-man blues-punk band is proof rock stars still exist, and they still love to jump off drum kits, solo until their fingers bleed, and leave stacks of amps smoldering.
Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10-$12. 21+.
[JAM] Night one! âNowhere Nothinâ Fuckup.â Yeah! Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 8 pm. $22-$25. 21+.
[JAM] Night two! âRandy Described Eternity.â Yeah! Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 8 pm. $22-$25. 21+.
[JAM] Night three! âYou Were Right.â Yeah! Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. Sold out. 21+.
RIFF RAFFâS NEON NEW YEAR
[MUSIC?] His eyebrows have racing stripes, his teeth have mirrors and he has no discernible talent, but the Houston party rapper is such a shamelessly weird self-promoter that any criticism of his music is moot. Spring for the $299 VIP ticket. Odyssey Event Space, 521 N Tillamook St., 999-0383. 9 pm. $40-$299. 18+.