WEDNESDAY JUNE 4
[SAILORS] Good news: The Americans are back, which means that unlike last year, you donât have to seduce Canadian sailors with talk of Newfies or Rob Ford or maple trees or whatever those Northern seamen talk about. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Northwest Naito Parkway between the Burnside and Steel bridges. Through Sunday, June 8. Heartbreak is free.
SATURDAY JUNE 7
[PANCAKES] Internet-famous Nathan Shields will make weirdly complicated pancakes that look like squid, beetles and Tusken Raiders. And he will teach you how to do the same, but way worse. Slappy Cakes, 4246 SE Belmont St., 477-4805, slappycakes.com. Noon. Free, but you gotta buy your own pancakes.
MICHAEL IAN BLACK
[COMEDY] A former member of generation-defining â90s sketch-comedy troupe the State, Black has since become a strangely ubiquitous figure in pop culture, popping up as a talking head on VH1, hosting podcasts, hawking sodas and ice cream bars in TV ads, fighting with Marc Maron on Twitter, even writing childrenâs books. Through it all, he maintains an air of self-deprecating smarminess thatâs at once infuriating and hilarious. Hawthorne Theater, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., 233-7100. 7 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. 21+.
GUIDED BY VOICES
[MUSIC] Robert Pollard never wrote a tune he didnât think was worth the world hearing. His beloved indie-rock bandâs initial two-decade run produced approximately 8 zillion songs, and since reuniting the âclassicâ GBV lineup in 2010, heâs generated six more albumsâ worth of material. Whatâs more astounding than the sheer volume of his output is the quality: Heâs batting over .500 for his career, and doing so while mostly being drunk off his ass. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8 pm. $35. 21+.
SUNDAY JUNE 8
[MUSIC, ETC.] For the seventh installment of this ongoing series of serene music, art and writing, Benoit Pioulard makes the trip down from Seattle to perform his delicately minimal soundscapes, accompanied by projections from Portland-based visual artist Colin Manning. Alberta Abbey, 126 NE Alberta St., 897-7037. 9 pm. Free.
MONDAY JUNE 9
PCS IMPROV ALL-STARS
[IMPROV] Inspired by the life of the hatchet-happy Lizzie Borden (whoâs also at the center of Portland Center Stageâs current production of Lizzie), four of the cityâs top improvisers will ad-lib their own scenes of murder and mania. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 8 pm. $5-$10.