Pssssst. Yo, over here.

Hey, dawg, you want some rotisserie chicken? Naw, man, you don't need to wait in line for Pollo Norte just cuz everyone's all up on them pollos Mehicanas right now. I got the hookup.

Just be cool and keep quiet.

Here's what's up: I got a little place downtown. It's better than the joint all the West Hills ladies are flippin' on. The chicken, at least. The Peruvian-style rotisserie chicken birds at my spot get roasted long enough to develop the dark and crusty spiced skin you want, not like the lightly roasted birds. These are the real deal, off a charcoal rotisserie imported from Lima. Up Norte, they're cooking on gas like chumps. Peel these plump breasts apart ($8 for a half with a wing) and it's wet and steamy like a leaky sauna. Here's how you know good pollo a la brasa: It's been on the fire so long you can bite off the crispy bones at the tips of the wings like chicharrones. My spot has only one dipping sauce, an aji amarillo with mayonnaise, sour cream and earthy yellow peppers. Get the wide fried papas on the side, and dip 'em in it, too.

The catch? All right, I feel you. So the tortillas look store-bought, the black beans are boring, and there's this dried-out fried grilled cheese sandwich mounted on a doughnut base ($4.50) that should not exist. This spot is open from breakfast on, and they're doing all sorts of stuff no one needs, like veggie bowls and egg sandwiches. They don't know the gringos are losing their damned minds over rotisserie chicken, or else they'd drop that shit and put all their efforts into letting people know you can order a to-go bird online. Order by 2:30, pick up by 6 pm. It's $20 with three sides. Yo, I like Pollo Norte, but that shit burnt up already. Chicken alone, my spot wins. You wanted chicken, right? Or just an Instagram selfie standing in line?

  1. Order this: Family platter with a whole bird and triple fries ($20).

EAT: Polli-Tico, Southwest 3rd Avenue and Oak Street, 971-258-2845, polli-tico.com. 8 am-6 pm Monday-Thursday, 8 am-3 am Friday-Saturday.