We Oregonians live in a state of perpetual Neverland--and no, we're not talking about Michael Jackson's California estate-and-kiddie palace.

According to national rankings, our state's a lousy place to get a job, buy a low-fat meal--hell, even get a full year's education. Maybe the numbers are telling us something we'd rather not admit: We're not very good at taking care of ourselves.

Reality sucks, but it doesn't have to.

Fortunately, after the holiday hoopla--extended by heaps of snow and ice--now is the perfect time of year for all of us Oregonians to grow up and drop the nerdy Peter Pan act. Besides, we've already forgotten half of our New Year's resolutions.

Inside, we offer expert advice to help you kick off your own simple-life reality show, a get-a-life plan that won't require a calculator the size of Alan Greenspan's.

We've got practical tips about how to save money at your bank and how to buy a house. We've collected advice, quick-hits of motivation, to help you stick to your exercise plan--this time. We've got the goods on the hottest fitness gear, and we also offer our annual survey of local gyms. And we've even collected ideas about how to shape up your spiritual life, as well.

This list is incomplete. There are entire shelves of books at Powell's on this topic, but you're not going to read them--at least not today.

But this you can handle.

After all, everybody--even Michael Jackson--has to leave the ranch sometime.

Without any further ado, GET A LIFE!"