Rating Your Portland Fail Blazers

The second-highest payroll in the NBA and not even playoff-bound--such is the plight of Portland's hapless basketball squad. As the team transitions from Jail Blazers to Fail Blazers, one has to wonder: Who--if anybody--is actually worth the money they're paid?

As usual, WW has the answers. Overtaken by the spirit of rational thought, we at WW's Numerology Evaluation Research Division have determined which Blazers deliver the most bang per buck.

The explanation behind this gets graphically mathematical, so you might want to grab a slide rule or skip the following paragraph.

First NERD calculated each player's Pay per Point for the first 45 games of the year. But since baskets aren't the only measure of net worth, we
devised a formula for all on-court contributions. NERD added up each player's stats so far to determine a total output, giving extra weight to rebounds and assists and penalizing turnovers and technical fouls. Dividing each player's total output by his total minutes, we determined his Efficiency Rating per 48-minute game. Finally, NERD divided each player's ER by his salary over the 45 games to find his Value to the team.

Not surprisingly, Rasheed Wallace and Damon Stoudamire--the fourth- and eighth-highest paid players in professional basketball, respectively--came out looking overpriced. Especially Stoudamire, whose low value and efficiency make him the biggest waste of money on the team.

On the value-packed side, the surprise champion is Tblisian sensation Vladimir Stepania, whose Spartan paycheck makes him a bargain. Also notable is budding star Zach Randolph, who gets paid about one-fifteenth of what Wallace makes to put up better numbers every night.

WWeek 2015