Portland is such a cow town. It will never amount to much. I think about it every time my jet circles over their dinky West Hills. People down there are so small-minded. They won't rent luxury boxes to watch rotisserie basketball. They bitch when you ask $5.50 for a beer. Four or five drug busts, and they start booing people.

And unlike some of us, they don't know squat about business. They don't understand that there are some tough things smart business people simply have to do. Take bankruptcy, for example. When a company gets itself involved in a bunch of bad contracts and then gets tired of living with them, it's a legitimate option. The losers you made promises to just have to deal with it.

Everybody does it. Look at the airlines--in and out of bankruptcy court like it had a revolving door. MCI? The number you have dialed is banko. Kmart called the blu- light special on Chapter 11. Even Trump's been there.

But the Portland set doesn't approve. I think a fatal exception has occurred in their brains. Do they think I'm made of money? Hellooo, people: I'm down to my last $20 billion. I may have to sell an island just to keep Zach Randolph.

Well, excuse me (while I kiss the sky). Here's your funky Coliseum back. Call me when you've got the kayaking course finished.

--Posted by Paul at 1:18 am

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