The Hankie Code

How to wear your fetishes on your sleeve, or in your pocket.

Tags:

Back in the ancient past of the 1970s and 1980s, some clever queens devised the now-legendary "Hankie Code" to save time in discovering a potential shag's sexual proclivities. The code--a colored hanky poking out of a back pocket--has fallen into disuse, yet it seems that this kind of courtship convenience might help straight people avoid needless conversation before falling into bed. In an effort to help active heterosexuals save time, we've updated the traditional gay code, and you never know--this shorthand might just catch on.

HANKIE	GAY MEANING	STRAIGHT MEANING
Mauve	Into navel worship	Into Mystic Tanning
Mustard	Has 8 inches or more	Has a V8 or more
Black	Into heavy S&M	Into applying Neosporin
Mosquito netting	Outdoor sex	Outdoor sex
Charcoal	Latex fetish	BBQ fetish
Lime green	Dines off tricks	Dines off china
Silver	Starfucker	Once saw Sean Astin at the airport
Olive	Likes uniforms	Likes martinis
Gray	Bondage	Good with boating knots
Gold	2 looking for 1	Coupon clipper
Toothbrush	Lover's out, my place is OK	Halitosis is out, my breath's OK
Cocktail napkin	Into bartenders	Into cocktail parties
Rust	Cowboy fetish	Reagan fetish
Gold lamé	Into musclemen	Into 24 Hour Fitness clubs
Robin's-egg blue	Sixty-niner	Sixty-niner
Fuschia	Prefers spanking	Prefers the suburbs

Back to "THE STRAIGHT ISSUE" table of contents.