Back in the ancient past of the 1970s and 1980s, some clever queens devised the now-legendary "Hankie Code" to save time in discovering a potential shag's sexual proclivities. The code--a colored hanky poking out of a back pocket--has fallen into disuse, yet it seems that this kind of courtship convenience might help straight people avoid needless conversation before falling into bed. In an effort to help active heterosexuals save time, we've updated the traditional gay code, and you never know--this shorthand might just catch on.

HANKIE

GAY MEANING

STRAIGHT MEANING

Mauve

Into navel worship

Into Mystic Tanning

Mustard

Has 8 inches or more

Has a V8 or more

Black

Into heavy S&M

Into applying Neosporin

Mosquito netting

Outdoor sex

Outdoor sex

Charcoal

Latex fetish

BBQ fetish

Lime green

Dines off tricks

Dines off china

Silver

Starfucker

Once saw Sean Astin at the airport

Olive

Likes uniforms

Likes martinis

Gray

Bondage

Good with boating knots

Gold

2 looking for 1

Coupon clipper

Toothbrush

Lover's out, my place is OK

Halitosis is out, my breath's OK

Cocktail napkin

Into bartenders

Into cocktail parties

Rust

Cowboy fetish

Reagan fetish

Gold lamé

Into musclemen

Into 24 Hour Fitness clubs

Robin's-egg blue

Sixty-niner

Sixty-niner

Fuschia

Prefers spanking

Prefers the suburbs

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