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June 1st, 2005 Adrian Chen | News Stories
 

LARS VS. LARS

     
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LARS/LARS
IMAGE: MARTINTHEIL.COM / GEOFF THURNER
Could it be true? Had Portland's right-wing radio king shed years (and put down the steak fork at El Gaucho) for a chance to hurl the Ducks to glory?

Alas, a closer look revealed the spear-chucking Lars is a Laursen, a towheaded Danish import highly regarded in track-and-field circles. But to avoid future mix-ups, we assembled this handy guide to keep your Larses straight.

LARS LARSON Syndicated talk show hostLARS LAURSEN University of Oregon javelin star
HOMETOWN
Vancouver, Wash.Copenhagen, Denmark
FLINGS VIOLENTLY
Right-wing invective.Five-foot aluminum/carbon shaft.
GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT
Winning Emmy Awards.Second place, 2004 Danish Championships.
BIGGEST REGRET
Not as powerful as Tom Potter.Didn't win first place in 2004 Danish championships.
WORST NIGHTMARE
Oregon taken over by gay Hispanic terrorists.Javelin replaces curling as least cared-about sport.
PET PEEVE
Gun control.Shot put.
MAJOR
Wind bag.Biology.

 
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