Chimps - LOSERS

Oregon corporations, which already contribute less than 10 percent of the state's taxes, got a nice Labor Day gift. The state's loony "kicker" law means businesses will get back $101 million of the $641 million in income taxes they paid in the past two years. Next tycoon who complains about the state's "anti-business" climate gets a bat to the head.

Many people rolled their eyes when Mayor Tom Potter voiced worries about a future mega-earthquake in Portland. Given the complete implosion of flooded New Orleans, Hizzoner's disaster paranoia doesn't look so dumb anymore.

Some westbound Katrina refugees can at least celebrate when their tickets get punched for Portland. With Portlanders racing to make up to 1,000 displaced newcomers feel at home, all looks good at the start for a friendly welcome.

After reports revealed hybrid cars were not as efficient as claimed, Portland biodiesel enthusiasts were already feeling pretty good about their decision to use grease to power their cars. But as gasoline and oil prices hit new records last week they were feeling even smarter. See gobiodiesel.org for more info.

LOSERS

Southern Oregon farmers who demanded $100 million from the U.S. Treasury because Klamath River water was diverted to help endangered fish during the 2001 drought were slapped back last week. A federal judge said the farmers, long able to extract a living from federal ag-welfare programs, were making "rootless" and "fantasy" arguments.

Accomplishing a rare double, Tom Potter also falls into the Loser column. The mayor's "gang summit" last week got withering reviews from cops and neighborhood activists. That makes the mayor 0-for-2 when it comes to his talk fests (let's just say local entrepreneurs weren't doing back flips over Potter's business summit back in June).

Chimps can no longer shrug and claim that they "really don't know Homo sapiens that well...just a third cousin, something like that...." A major genetic study embarrassed chimpanzees by confirming their close kinship to the planet's klutziest primates.