Have you tried MexiMeth™? According to an Oregonian report, speed from South of the Border is stronger! Cheaper! And more plentiful! And here you've been lining up for Sudafed.

Oregon's anti-abortion activists are feeling confident enough to pounce. They think state voters are ripe next year for two ballot initiatives-parental consent for minors and homicide-times-two if the murder victim was pregnant. That could, paradoxically, be good news for Democrats, who can always use a jolt of fear to wake their liberal base.

Rejoice! Students at Molalla and Hillsboro's Liberty high schools aren't stupid! The state education department backtracked on announced test results showing the two schools posting rock-bottom writing scores. Just when English teachers were about to throw in the towel, corrected scores showed the schools are acceptably mediocre, after all.

LOSERS

McMansions, despair-inducing sprawl, toxic lawn chemicals.... Now an Oregon State University research paper finds you can add fat people to the list of things that make suburbs such soul-sucking tarpits. The report says lardniks actively choose the 'burbs and questions the usefulness of making their streets more walkable.

A movement to draft ex-Gov. John Kitzhaber for next year's governor's race? Who next, Neil Goldschmidt? With Democratic Party colleagues starting to eye the has-been bench, might it be time for Gov. Ted Kulongoski to realize re-election is gonna be a bitch?

Pathologists everywhere cringed at news out of Multnomah County Circuit Court. A fired state medical examiner testified last week that the state's chief medical examiner, Karen Gunson, shared a list of potential questions for the national pathologist's exam, and told him the questions were for sale. She admitted revealing the questions, but denied any such scam.

Anti-war activists suffered a tough piece of meteorological luck by scheduling major national and local protests last weekend. Hard to get off Page A9 or to get much TV time while Rita is pummeling the Gulf Coast.