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Home · Articles · Music · RIFF CITY · I Wish I Could Quit You
January 25th, 2006 Mark Baumgarten | RIFF CITY
 

I Wish I Could Quit You

Once a little bit country, always a little bit country. Right?

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Cowboys make me nervous. That's why I'm on my fourth Jack Daniel's. Surrounded by cowboy hats and big belt buckles Wednesday night at the eastside cowboy enclave Outlaws Bar & Grill, I have shored up my confidence with my last resort. Booze. But let me back up.

I had slipped into the club, in the old Bossanova space on East Burnside Street, curious about all this urban cowboy business. At the door, the bouncer gave my ID a quick glance and informed me that "Salsa is on the second floor." After a short pause he continued, "and there's Cowboy Karaoke on the third floor, if you're interested."

I took no offense, understanding that—although I could be mistaken for Dwight Yoakam—160-pound guys with long blonde hair rarely qualify for cowboy-hood. But that doesn't mean I was not qualified for Cowboy Karaoke.

I grew up in Tomah, Wis., a small farming and military town where country is king. For most of my childhood, Willie Nelson and Alabama accompanied me and my family on semiweekly trips in our brown 1981 Oldsmobile to the nearest theater in a town 45 miles away. My mother had an unhealthy obsession with Randy Travis, and my dad was fond of belting out Hank Williams Jr. songs. Every once in a while the school bus driver would play Z93, but the event was rare, and if songs such as INXS' "Need You Tonight" came on, the station would be immediately flipped to country on WCOW 97.1.

When I finally scored my own stereo, things started to change. With control of the radio, I tuned into 107.5, the classic-rock station out of Nielsville and discovered Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin and Kansas. While still in the firm grasp of redneck culture, I was finding something in "Castles Made of Sand" and "Immigrant Song" that I couldn't find in "Boot Scootin' Boogie" and "Louisiana Saturday Night." By the time I got my license, I was fully divorced from my wannabe cowboy neighbors, choosing instead to be a wannabe Kurt Cobain. I still listened to some bad music. I still went to every Tomah Indians football game. I would even follow the line of cars to the postgame party in the middle of some field where everyone would get wasted while songs sung by millionaires with cowboy hats blared out of a Ford F-150. But I refused to sing "Friends in Low Places."

Until tonight. Back at Outlaws, a lone table of hipsters in this sea of cowboy hats has adopted me, and two of them are on stage singing the Garth Brooks song everyone knows. Later a burly gent with a handlebar mustache sings Hank Williams Jr.'s "Family Tradition," and again I'm singin' along: "Why do you drink?/ Why do you roll smoke?"

"How do you know this song?" says my new acquaintance Amy. "You're one of them." She laughs and I smile, thinking that maybe she's a little right. Then, after a rousing rendition of Big & Rich's "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)," which I do not sing along with, my name is called and I go up to sing "Mama, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys."

Feeling cocky and clever from the whiskey, I start the third chorus, singing "Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be hipsters/ Don't let 'em wear white belts and..." but before I can continue on with "drive El Caminos," the karaoke DJ gets on his mike and blurts "Sing the song!" Staring at me from under the brim of his cowboy hat, he is noticeably angry. And I, again, am nervous.


Cowboy Karaoke,Wednesdays at Outlaws, 722 E Burnside St., 233-7855. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
 
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01.24.2006 at 10:00 Reply
I Wish I Could Quit You"unhealthy obsession with Randy Travis? - I didn't know there was such a thing as an unhealthy obsession with randy. I love him. God bless your mother.I've been a fan since 1987 and am still following Randy today with 305 RT appearances behind me. I've traveled miles to see this man and will continue as much as I can. Nah, there is nothing unhealthy about seeing Randy - he has gotten me through many trials and tribulations in my life time just through his music alone not to mention getting an occasional chance to even chat with him. Randy Rules so in no way would I ever say "I Wish i Could Quit You, randy!!!—Linda

 

01.24.2006 at 10:00 Reply
I Wish I Could Quit YouMan, I wish people could just stop obsessing so much over the social hierarchy aspects of music and just listen to the stuff and enjoy it now and then. I'm trained as a classical musician and like artists that are filed under everything from dub to country to indie rock. If it sounds good, it is good, as composer "PDQ Bach" has been heard to say.—Whatever

 

01.24.2006 at 10:00 Reply
I Wish I Could Quit YouYou described the population of Tomah pretty good. I grew up in La Crosse, same thing. Parents listening to Country Music, I grew up and turned to rock and roll (Z93 is good)and now I am back to Country Music. But I must say....that if you indeed could be mistaken for Dwight...you must be fighting off the woman!—Janice

 

01.24.2006 at 10:00 Reply
I Wish I Could Quit YouLike Mark, I grew up in the Midwest in the 70's, listening to an awful lot of bad crap blasting out of WMAQ (country) and WLS (pop music) transmitters in Chicago. I find it takes all types of music to relate to me - though not all of it does. I look for the fun in it mostly now. In the 80's, I hated country and embraced more rock-n-roll - even enjoyed the big-hair bands. I've sinced been burned with one-hit and subsistanceless albums. The second half of the 80's roll around and I'm at a Marine base club in southern California where the building has a room playing country and another hip-hop. Now dancing was going on in each room. However, the notable difference was that in country-type dancing, the male and female were touching! I liked that idea. It also had more style. Since that time, I have not only learned to 2-step, but also various swings, salsa, hustle and various cha-cha's - oh and the slow dance (which is the first dance I tell non-dancing guys with their girlfriend/wife they ought to do due to its non-technical skill). This helps in getting such endeavors as getting laid.My non-country "hip" friends are wearily afraid of the country scene. It also seemed they had tight underwear on and were turning fat/puffy/and spending too much on drugs. The drug of choice was mostly exercising (from the dancing), alcohol, smokes, and maybe some pot. Maybe that's why my country friends aren't intimidated by going to "The Red Sea" or any other Downtown/Eastside dance place. So dance to country music and if you start worrying about the lyrics, take that time to do another shot while you're waiting for something better. —Todd C.

 

01.26.2006 at 10:00 Reply
I Wish I Could Quit You RE: "Chewing the literary fat"Dear Mark Baumgarten of the Willamette "Fish Wrapper"Writers block is the nations #1 cause of superficial slander directed at the majority of new/old bussiness establishments plaqueing our communities like a hacker infects computer systems with viruses. However, I due appreciate creative thought processes encouraging a diverse approach to strengthening the over all well being of my fellow citizens such as the weekly Food Day boosting local economic infastructures. As for your sophmoronic corn feed rendition of "cowboy junky" days with a side of "i wanna be a cowboy" verbage I have one question for you, "Would you like some Wisconsin cheese with that wine?" In retrospect, mama may have been conveying to her son "Be a simple kind of man" being "Born on the Buau" and "In a hicktown" to boot. So Mark try to "Blame it all on your roots" but if given the chance to revisit Outlaws again I think you would backslide down that "Country Road" and say,"I love this bar."Luv,Your Corrosion of Comformity—"LUCY"

 

 
 

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