Take me to the Aladdin

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"Take me to the Aladdin," she says. She's very drunk.

"The Aladdin closed hours ago—it's 3 am."

"Oh, I know. It's just my car is there."

I get this all the time: people who cab back to their car, sobering up a bit on the way. But this woman is absolutely, unequivocally, irredeemably unable to drive. I try to tell her this, but she refuses to listen.

Finally, I put my foot down. "Look, I am not going to take you to your car. Just tell me where you live, and I'll take you there."

"Fuck you," she says. "I'm not paying $30 in cab fare all the way to Gresham."

I plead with her, saying this is a small price to pay compared with the potential cost of a DUI, not to mention her safety and the safety of others. "Fucking cunt" was the nicest thing she calls me.

"Look, lady, just tell me where you live and I'll take you there. I won't run the meter. I take you home or I take you to Hooper Detox. It's your choice."

It's a long, long drive to take for free, and on a busy Saturday night to boot, bad for me. But it's long enough for her to sober up enough on the way and to realize what she had almost done. She apologizes to me and hands me a $20, which is all she has on her.

Doing the right thing so often leaves you getting screwed. But not tonight.

03.21.2006 at 10:00 Reply

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Take me to the AladdinAnother fantastic column. Why can't I ever get you as my cabbie? Why do I always get the middle-aged men who want to talk about their years in "the business" and how busy/slow they have been since their shift started three hours prior? Why me?—Kate

Take me to the AladdinKudos for doing the right thing.—day cabbie

Take me to the AladdinThank you for keeping another drunk off the road.—Carrie

Take me to the AladdinGood job, Night Cabbie. Twenty bucks is nothing to the cost of one who is caught driving drunk and leaving an innocent person dead. You were not only looking out for her, but the safety of the people.—Bryan Dorr

03.25.2006 at 10:00 Reply

Take me to the AladdinGood for you hun. As a female cabbie I use to get people like that all the time. I had to stop working nights from the fustration of trying to tell someone what they are about to do could kill someone, or dealing with those who have had way to much to drink.It's a shame that people really think they can drink and drive. They can't even stand up without fallen over or tell you where they want to go, but they think they can drive. You don't want to be their guardian angel but your force to be.—Faith

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