I can't believe it. [CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK]

I can't believe it. This lady just yanked my key right out of the ignition and bolted.

I grab her bag off the floor: "Oh no, you're not running on me." She's yelling, "I'm a bail bondsman, you don't know who you're fucking with." Uh, sure. I tell dispatch to send cops.

The woman leans back in, her mad eyes gleaming with a sort of demented glee. When I try to grab my cab key away from her she grabs my wrist: "Now I have you for physical assault, you are going down." "And you are totally insane," I reply. "Get the fuck out of my face, you're not getting this stuff back from me."

The cops arrive. I hear her start in about how I was running her all over the place, refusing to take directions, subjecting her to verbal and physical assault.

Any concerns I have as to who the cops will believe are erased by one arched eyebrow on the part of the one interviewing me, as she overhears the woman raging about how "she made me late for my wedding, too!" "Really, you're getting married at midnight on a Saturday?" asks the other officer, rather mildly, all things considered.

I lack the column space to adequately convey the level of crazy that came out of this woman's mouth. It'll suffice to say that even when she was standing there in cuffs, she was still telling me I was under citizen's arrest. Needless to say, I didn't get paid.