O as in Obama and Oregon

Winners

1 Dude, where’s my Prius? Car thieves pried their way to the top of the criminal-success charts in Portland, where car thefts were up 35 percent in 2007, according to newly released FBI figures. We knew there was a reason for all those shitty Portland drivers—they’re still testing out their stolen wheels.

2 From Iowa with love: Illinois Sen. Barack Obama’s stunning victory in the nation’s first Democratic caucus raises the stock for prominent locals who backed Obama before he became the early front-runner. Yes, there’s a long way to go, but early cheers from retired Air Force Gen. Merrill “Tony” McPeak, and state Reps. Chip Shields, Larry Galizio and Ben Cannon (see “Beaver Envy,” WW , Jan. 2, 2007).

3 Before the Trail Blazers begin a tough seven-game road trip, Blazers fans can revel in the team shocking the NBA by winning 16 of its last 17 games. Enjoy it while you can: We’re sure some ill is just lurking to land. (See news story for more.)

4 Portland Republican pollster Bob Moore hasearned the kind of PR that money can’t buy. In the days leading up to the Jan. 8 New Hampshire primary, state officials there announced an investigation into whether Moore’s firm was doing “push-polling” that targets former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. Moore says he’s clean, but we bet his billing rate just jumped.

Losers

1Oregon’s unions can look forward to a bruising November. While unions might prefer to spend resources electing labor-friendly candidates, longtime union antagonists Bill Sizemore, Kevin Mannix and Russ Walker turned in enough signatures last week to ensure Big Labor will be spending big money to battle tough-on-crime, tax-cutting and, oh yeah, anti-union measures.

2 Critics of Bernie Giusto just got more ammo against the troubled Multnomah County sheriff. A report by the Boston-based Crime and Justice Institute provides a laundry list of ways in which the county’s criminal-justice system has fallen behind. How much more bad news can Giusto absorb? We cringe even to think.

3 Local indie-rock icons The Shins suffered a blow when keyboardist Marty Crandall was arrested in Sacramento on Jan. 4 on a domestic violence rap. The case was dismissed Tuesday, but a memo to any rockers with anger problems: Please stick to smashing your guitar.